3 Ways to Know If Our Prayers are Selfish

Building my Faith
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30 Days of Prayer

Are my prayers selfish? This is not a question that most of us ask ourselves or even think about. My church has recently been participating in a 30 days of prayer journey together. For one month, we are challenged to pray for 30 minutes a day for 30 days for others. We receive a daily devotional each day that helps to give us a focus for that time of prayer.

We’re just over the half way point in the 30 Days of Prayer journey when I’m writing this, but it didn’t take me long to realize that there have been many times where my prayers were selfish. At this point I’ve already prayed for: people who do not know Christ, family members, the body of Christ, and those that are persecuted and killed because of their faith.

Are My Prayers Selfish

So, how do we know if we have selfish prayers? Here are three ways to tell if our prayers are selfish.

1. You do all the talking.

Prayer at its core is communicating with God. It’s having a conversation with God. In this case we are talking to God, who is all knowing and all powerful. Yet it amazes me that when I’m having my prayer time, how much of the time I spend doing all the talking and not listening. Prayer is just as much talking as it is listening.

James 5:16(KJV)
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

This is the scripture that started our 30 Days of Prayer focus. We as Christians are instructed to pray for one another. Prayer for others can bring healing.

2. You Are Distracted.

I can say from my own experience, that there have been times where I have sat down to pray and as soon as I get started, I have a random thought about something I need to do later. Which leads to another thought and another. Before I know it, I’ve spent my prayer time not focused and thinking about everything else in my day instead of God.

[ctt template=”8″ link=”95W8C” via=”no” ]Distracted prayers are not answered prayers[/ctt]

Most people can relate to what it’s like to have a conversation with a person who is distracted. We all can tell when we are talking to a someone who is not focused on us. Most of us probably wouldn’t stand for that, so why do we treat God the same way. We want God to answer our prayers and accept our distracted time with Him.

3. You Pray ONLY for Your Desires.

How many times have we gone to God in prayer, only to have it turn into a time of running down the list of things that we want or need? Tied with the previous two points, this type of prayer says that we’re too selfish to think of anything or anyone other than ourselves when it comes to prayer. The relationships that God places in our lives are for a purpose and our purpose in that relationship most importantly is to pray.

Our prayers become all about us and what we want. We shouldn’t treat God like a genie, where we just want our wishes granted. God wants to be in a relationship with us. He desires to be a part of our everyday life. This week let’s focus on praying for others.

Romans 12:1-2(MSG)
12 1-2 So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

3 Things Christians Need to Know About Relationships

Aim for higher

 

Sometimes as a Christian I want to hold myself to a higher standard than other people around me. More accurately I like to think that I am holding myself to a higher standard than what I think other people are holding themselves to. Just because I have a different standard does not make their standards less than mine. We’re just different.

Being different is fine. It is like when my wife and I go look at homes in different neighborhoods, yes we are those people who will just drive through random neighborhoods to look at the different homes. (Don’t judge us…you do it too) So when we drive through these neighborhoods, we don’t like to see cookie-cutter homes. Houses that look exactly the same on the outside are boring. We like houses that are different. Different makes it a home. All that to say, that just because someone is different or has different standards does not make them better or worse, they are just different.

As a Christian, we can feel like we’re “right” when it comes to a lot of things. I’m not going to go into detail because we all can come up with a list of things and issues that we are “right” about. Or we know someone whose like this. You’re probably thinking of someone at this moment. So as a Christian how can we be “right” and not have a high and mighty attitude towards others? Here are 3 tips on how to do this.

1.  Listen Before Responding 

Yes we believe what God says is right. His word is true. How we apply or implicate that into our lives is not always right. This is what the Bible says:

James 1:19(KJV)
19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:

While we believe that we’re right. In talking to those around us, we need to do more listening and less with having our rebuttal ready. If you listen long enough people will tell you all you need to know. You’ll learn what’s on their heart and the things that are a struggle for them.  Then God will show you how to respond to them in a way that will be a blessing and help them.

2. It’s about the relationship.

Having relationships, whether it’s family, friend, or co-worker can expose you to hurts. Some of the people that can hurt us the most aren’t complete strangers, they are the people closest to us. We want to continue to develop our relationship with God, because God can help us with other relationships. The relationships that God gives aren’t  for the purpose of us determining whose “right” all the time. It’s about being there to support one another. Through that support you learn to be swift to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger(wrath).

3. How & When

Sometimes our attitudes carry through to how we say things. While it may be great for us to be “right” it doesn’t edify someone if we talk to them like they are undeserving of God’s grace. There is always the “how” and “when.” We should be asking God for when to have conversations. After a long work day might not be the time to tell your spouse that you believe God told you to tell them that they’re raising the children wrong. Just as important as “when” is “how.” If we will listen, God will tell us “how” to bring up those tough conversations. We just have to listen.By beginning to implement these three things, I believe that our relationships with family, friends, and those we come into contact with on a daily basis will get better. I challenge you to start to be swift to listen and slow to speak this week.

5 Real Life Ways to the Life God has for You

What does it really take for a Christian to succeed? How can we go from where we are to the place that God wants us to go? There are some skills that are necessary for each Christian. Sometimes we can have such a broad generalization when it comes to our Christianity that we put everything under the umbrella of being a Christian and none of it protects us from the ups and downs in our life.

The following are skills that will help us succeed. They will help us get in the place of where we can go from just trying to be a better Christian to actually being able to see God change our lives.

1. Read the Bible.

Most times we treat this as a chore and not as a necessity for life. People struggle to read the Bible everyday because our approach to it is wrong. Instead of approaching it like a child that doesn’t want to do chores, we should approach reading the Bible as a kid opening gifts on Christmas day. We have to find a way to make Bible reading  enjoyable and not a chore. Bible apps such as YouVersion and BibleGateway are excellent tools for this.

2. Pray.

Prayer can become one of those things that we take for granted and don’t fully give ourselves to. Without it, we can’t get the best or the fullness of our relationship with God. He communicates with us through prayer. When we need to be encouraged or get direction, many times we get those things through prayer.

3. Write down what God says.

If you’re like me, there are have been plenty of times either during prayer or meditation when God will give me something. Some instructions, an idea, or inspiration that I need. Too many times I’ve told myself that I would write it down later. Only to not be able to remember what it was that was so important in that moment.

4. Take steps of Faith.

There have been many times where God gave me an idea and then I still fail to see it manifest in my life. I can get in my head where I want to see the big picture or I want to see what the end will look like before I take the first step. I’m continually working on this. To get over this, the first thing to do is to take a step. Just one step. Then another. Whether you call them baby steps or steps of faith, the point is to get moving in the direction that God is telling you to go.

5. Develop Consistency.

In the world that we live in, everything has to be done in the fastest way possible. We need things faster and faster than any time in the past. There are times when I get frustrated with my WiFi signal, and I have to remember the old dial-up signal and how slow that was. While there are times that God can bring things to us instantly, I have found that even in those times, I have to consistently seek God out. I have to be patient and make God a real priority in my life and not a genie in a bottle.

This list is not exhaustive when it comes to succeeding in life. These five things will, however,  set up a foundation to build on. I’d love to hear from you on the success and struggles of doing what God has called you to do.