Category: Marriage

Welcome to 2020!!!

Welcome to 2020!! Does today feel different than it did yesterday? Will this year be different than every other year before? I don’t know about you, but I want this year to be different, it’s just about navigating a way to get from my current location to my new destination. Maybe, you’re like me and in your heart you want this upcoming year to be different. There is a way that we can have 2020 be the start of something special.

Towards the end of 2019, I did what I usually do at the end of each year. I have a time of reflecting. I usually just spend the time thinking about my goals for the upcoming year and what I want to see for the upcoming year.

While this is good, this time I really began looking deeper at what didn’t work for the previous year. I went looking for the areas that I have not done my best in. The areas that I needed to attack to move in a better direction.

Off To A Fast Start

One of the main areas that I was able to identify was that I am great at starting new things. New workouts, new habits, skills, I’m great at putting them together and mapping out how I want it to look and the overall beginning. I love the start of reading a new book, but never finish. I love starting projects but may not see them through, you get the idea and can probably tell where this is going.

I’ve been the opposite when it comes to seeing things to their completion. The same excitement that I start something with is not the same when it comes to seeing something all the way through.

I don’t know if there is some magic trick, or life hack on how to attack this. What I do know, is that you have to keep trying.

Different Results = Different Methods

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and thinking that the results will be different. I’ve been in this circle without realizing it. It can be hard to see something when you are in the midst of it.

To get something different we have to do different things. Goals and habits won’t change your life if we continue to fall into the same traps.

Fresh Start

The good news is that it’s a new year! Sometimes that’s all it takes for us to turn the page and start something new. Welcome to 2020! What do you want your life to look like?What do you want the next decade to look like? There’s no time like the present to become the change that you want to see.

Discussion Question:

What do you want your New Year to look like?

Don’t make Resolutions in 2020

This is that time of year. You know,when every professional, influencer, and guru is going to try to sell you on why you need their program to make next year better. 

I understand that they all have a product that they believe in and that they want to get into the world. What all these Black Friday sales and End of Year Sales don’t tell you is that their product won’t help you. It won’t make your life different. You are the difference maker in your own life. 

It’s a New Year

The other day I was talking with my wife and realized something about myself. I have paid good, hard earned money on multiple writing courses. All with the promise of helping me become a better writer. What has actually happened, I have yet to finish any course all the way through. Have these courses done what they promised they would? I can’t truly answer that because I haven’t done the work needed. 

This is why we shouldn’t just buy all these products and services. Will they do what they say? Maybe. What it really comes down to is ourself. New Year’s Resolutions are a waste of time. Think of the last time that you made one and it actually made a difference that year. 

 

  1. Don’t make Resolutions, Make Changes

 

Many resolutions don’t stick through February because we make them out to be our wish list. We want to lose weight, we want to make more money, we want to spend more time with friends. All of those are wish list items. 

What we should be focusing on are developing better habits and skills that will benefit us. Resolutions are like wishes because we don’t really attach ourselves to those things. 

 

  1. Habits and Skills are better than Wishes

 

Instead of looking to make a New Years Resolution, this year I am going to focus on myself. For example I’ve been working on eating better, getting in better shape and taking care of my physical body better. So instead of making a resolution to lose weight, or to hit a certain number, I’m going to work on developing discipline to work out consistently. I’ll continue to eat better and developing 

 

  1. The Why is just as important as the What

 

Each year we make resolutions only to see them fall by the wayside by February and by April they are a distant memory. We’ve talked about why we should make changes and not resolutions, and why habits and skills are better than wishes. What lies behind all of those are the why. 

Why are looking to make these changes is just as important as what we are looking to change. Your why is your greatest driving factor. It is what will keep you going when things are tough, and when you want to give up on changing for the better. 

 

Discussion Question:

What motivates the changes you want to see in your life?

Planning Your 2020

Quote: if you fail to plan, you plan to fail 

 

“And the Lord answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it.”

‭‭Habakkuk‬ ‭2:2‬ ‭KJV‬‬

 

It’s the end of the year. The last month of 2019. How has this past year been for you? Has it been a year of great accomplishments? A year where you focused on yourself and grew as a person? Did your marriage make a turn for the better? Or maybe this year has just been another year like all the rest. It could be that this year was just another year. Nothing really changed or happened. Everything cruised along like all of the previous years.

 

A New Year is coming, are you ready

 

For me, this year has been one of experiences. There have been some great highs. Like starting this journey of homeschooling our children. It’s been such a treat to watch them grow and develop. This has been a year of my wife and I growing closer together. Being intentional about our marriage and working on it. 

This year has been a good year. But I’m also getting ready to prepare for next year. [We can enjoy the remainder of 2019 while envisioning a success plan for 2020] maybe this in place of the previous sentence 

 

  1. Reflect on the past year

 

To make sure that we’re not repeating the same things over and over each year we have to look at the previous year to see what worked. More importantly we have to look to see what didn’t work. 

We want to keep the things that work and then look to change what doesn’t work. Why keep doing something if it’s not driving you towards your destination?

 

  1. Dream of what you want next

 

How can you get to your destination if you don’t know where you’re going? Do you ever get in the car and drive with no destination in mind or no idea of where you want to go? No. We always at least have a destination in mind. 

Our dreams help us to see the destination of where we want to go. While there is time still left in this year, dream of what you want next year to be. Don’t put a cap on your dreams, let them run wild. The possibility for success is limitless when you can first see it 

 

  1. Goals and Habits Fuel the Dream

 

How will you go from where you are to the dream that you want? Our goals and habits are the fuel to get us there. Setting goals is a way to break down the dream in smaller steps that we can then begin to tackle. 

Through our habits we can then accomplish those goals, which fulfills the dream. All of these tie together. That’s why we have to know what works and what doesn’t work. 

 

The next year can be what we make of it. 

 

Discussion Question: What do you want your next year to look like?