Mentor & Mentee

       There is a misconception in the world today. If you’re like me then you may not even be aware or even thought  about it. What misconception am I referring to? Mentors & Mentee relationships. We need to have both in our lives. There is so much information around us, on the internet, and in textbooks that there isn’t possibly a way for us to know or even be proficient in it all. In pursuing the dreams that we have, going after the callings or things that God has placed in our hearts, we have a need for mentors. People who have traveled the road before us.

The dictionary defines a mentor as an experienced and trusted advisor. A mentee is a person who is advised, trained, or counseled. I’ve found that there are times when I have been the mentor and times when I’m the mentee. As of  recent this year I found myself in a mentee position. Every Sunday morning when I get to church there was another man who would come up to me and adjust my tie. Fix the knot or just straighten it up.

This may not seem like a big deal, but it meant a lot to me. I like to be at my best on Sundays and for someone to notice and then help me in just sharpening or tightening up my tie is awesome. This same man would later show me how to shine my shoes. Again, that might not seem like a big deal to everyone, but in that moment I needed someone to show me something that I didn’t know. That’s what a mentor does.

They don’t have to be at the final destination of where you want to go, they just have to be further along the journey than you are. We all can’t have Bill Gates be our financial advisor. What we can do is have a mentor that has; a successful marriage that’s been married longer than you, own their home, started a successful business, and so on and so on. We may not want to be a millionaire, but we desire to be successful in our relationships.  Our mentors can be many people along the way from where we are to that final destination.

While we’re forging our path to new places and destinations, we also should have someone coming behind us who could use our advice and experience to help them. Someone who struggles with what we used to struggle with. Relationships are not about being selfish. It’s not always what we can get from them. They have to flow back and forth. There is a free flow of giving and receiving.

So we have to be open to developing relationships at every level. It may be someone who needs to be mentored. There are benefits to being a mentor. Being able to help someone fulfill their dreams is one of the best feelings in the world.

We don’t get to our destinations by ourselves. The journey is great when we can see someone further ahead than were we are and it’s a beautiful thing to help someone  coming up behind us.

 

The Art of Dating

Is dating dead? Do people date today or is it all hooking up and a “Netflix & Chill” mentality. What does this look like for married couples? Can and should married couples continue to date? The answer to these latter questions is a resounding Yes! As you guys know, I’m a big proponent of dating in marriage. Every couple should date and make it a priority in their marriage.

Best Friends

Protecting Your Marriage from Divorce

I recently heard of a couple that I know that was getting a divorce. When talking with a person who is going through a divorce, it can be hard to know what to say to try and add some comfort. It is hard to see a person hurting and not know what to do or say to offer some help.

While we may not know what to say, most of us have the thought later like I did. “How do I protect my marriage?” “I didn’t get married to get a divorce 10 or 20 years later.” So how do we protect ourselves and our marriages from the dreaded D-Word?

The Other D-Word

We protect our marriages by using another D-Word. Dating. We have to continue to date our spouse. We take the dating part of our relationship for granted when don’t make time with each other a priority.m Before marriage, we ask someone out, go on some dates, get married and then life just settles into a routine.

Dating should be the one part of our lives that continues to grow as we grow. Dating is the part of the relationship where we on purpose are trying to get to know each . We look to communicate, and we look for opportunities to reach out during the day. Our dates become experiences that we cherish. They become fond memories that we can laugh about later.

The dates become few and far between. The cherished memories get farther and farther away.

Don’t let your marriage be a forgotten thought. Continue to date your spouse. Build memories together and have fun. To help you I’ve got a free resource:

 

Download my Dating in Marriage book.

 

What Got You Here will keep you There

How is your marriage? The state of your other relationships? If you can honestly say that your marriage is doing well and you have quality friendships, I would like to congratulate you! A lot of people can’t say the same.

We walk this path together

So how did you get to be such an Awesome Person that has a quality marriage with quality friendships? The answer probably would have to do with spending time with those people, investing in them, sharing your heart and being open to receive from them.

What got you to here will keep you there.

Over time we can take for granted the spouse that we have and the relationships that we have. We can forget the time that we spent with our spouse. The good times and the hard times. From the honeymoon, to family trips and everything in between. All of those shared experiences are what make the relationship valuable.

So, what got you here will keep you there.

All of the ways that you’ve invested in yourself and in the relationships that matter most to you are what got you to this place in life. Those same things are what will keep you here.

[ctt template=”8″ link=”AG9e1″ via=”no” ]Relationships are organic. There is a birth, life and death to them. [/ctt]

Relationships are organic. There is a birth, life and death to them. They have to  be maintained and nurtured consistently. What got us here will keep us here.

  1. Take Inventory

What relationships do you value? Which ones are most important to you? Do they challenge you to be a better person, or encourage you when you’re down? Now ask yourself? What am I doing to show that I value those relationships. Since relationships are organic, some of them need to die. What we think is a beautiful flower, is really a weed that we’re allowing to spread in our lives. Everyone you meet is not meant to be in your life forever.

  1. Have a Plan of Action

Now that you know which relationships are the valuable ones and which ones are the weeds, it’s time to take action. We don’t want to let the things that we value most, fall by the wayside and we don’t take the time to tell that person how much we value them. Women tend to be better at this than men. They are able to plan time together and they make the most out of that time. My wife does this with her friends. They plan times where they can get together and have coffee or tea, or just uninterrupted talking time on the phone. Men sometimes struggle a little in this area. However, with a plan, men can have and should have valuable relationships as well.

  1. Follow Through

A plan is only as good as the follow through. Establishing new relationships or maintaining the ones we have can be hard work. Will we always want to hang out with those people, or would we rather spend our time trying to rest from a hard week than talk on the phone? Maybe, but it is those times that communicate how much you value the relationship. You may not be able to have a date night with your spouse every week. What you can do is schedule the next time you can, put it in your calendar so nothing can take that time away from you. Do the little things like text them how excited you are to have a date night leading up to the day. All these little things communicate value and worth to the other person.

 

So What Got You Here will Keep You There. What are you doing to get There? Or What are you doing to stay There?