There are times when you have had a rough day at work or just a rough day in general and you need someone to talk to. I had one of those days recently and I learned something from my experience that I wanted to share with you.
1. How do you handle it?
The first thing to do is self-introspection. Take an inventory of how you handle setbacks, bad days, and disappointments. For me this requires a lot of prayer because there is a part of me that wants to think that all is well, or that I’m not as bad as someone else. This is why it’s so important to allow God to show me the areas that need improvement because my assessment is inaccurate apart from Him.
Self-introspection shows you what your triggers are and how you respond to situations. There is also a level of humility that comes from this because it forces us to be honest with ourselves. For example, I know that when a situation has irritated me, one of my triggers is fast food.
Not every trip to a fast food restaurant means that I’m upset. However, when I’m having a hard day one thing I tend to do more than normal is eat fast food. I have to be very aware of my willingness to make a quick stop to eat and not go home and cook.
2. Knowing How to Respond to Your Spouse
My wife knows me so well that she is able to know the type of response that I need. There have been times where the response needed was different from the response that I wanted. She also knows how to time her responses. I’ll admit there have been times where I did not want to talk and she sat me down, got my attention and let me just talk.
The type of response that you give your spouse when they are having a rough day can be a big deal. The timing of the response is also critical. It’s helpful to learn the difference between listening when they need to vent, versus speaking when advice is needed.
Your response should also come from your heart and packaged like a gift, not an attack. How you say what you say is important. Do not disregard the presentation of the package i.e. your response. How we present information is just as important as the information itself.
The response I need is not always the one I want Click To Tweet
3. The follow through.
In this situation where I was irritated, my wife was able to calm me down and help me to talk through it. This was vitally important because without it, I would have made some decisions that would have caused more problems.
Often times this is the aspect that we neglect to think about. When we respond in a moment of frustration we have not considered the consequences that may result. It helps to be able to have someone who we can talk through decisions with before we make them. For me, that is one of the greatest benefits of being married.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a moment where I wanted to act on an impulse. I’ll be ready to jump in head first, and my wife’s response is typically “Hmmm, maybe you should sleep on that for a day or two and then tell me if you feel the same way.” Usually I don’t, and I’ve moved on to something else.
How have you handled rough days? Or how do you handle it if your spouse is having one?
