Do What I Say and Not What I Do
“Do what I say and not what I do.” Most of us have heard our parents say this at one time or another. Now that I am a parent I see the fallacy in this thought process and I desire to do better. I want my children, especially my son, to do as I say and as I do.
In the above statement there is a level of hypocrisy, and while as parents we say those things, our children pick up on the hypocrisy. Most times they pick it up earlier than we give them credit for. We have to be better than the parental cliches.
One Sunday morning while getting ready for church, my son wanted to pick out his own clothes. It wasn’t anything new that he wanted to pick out his clothes, but he was telling me what he wanted to wear. He wanted to wear slacks, dress shoes, dress shirt, and a tie. His reasoning; because that’s what daddy wears, “I want to dress like daddy.” He went around that whole morning showing and telling everyone at church that he was “dressed like daddy.”
How can we live the right example before our children instead of living a life that communicates“Do what I say and not as I do,” but rather “Do what you see me do and say what you hear me say;”
1. Be aware.
There are times as a parent that we can get busy and go about our day. The problem with this is that when we have children, they are always watching us. In every good and bad habit that we have, our children are watching and will emulate what they see. Before we got married, while I was dating my wife I developed the habit of opening the car door for her. Everywhere we went and no matter how much of a rush we were in, I made sure to open her door. My son picked up on that between 1 and 2 years of age. He saw it so much so that before he could reach the door handle, he had me carry him to mommy’s door so that he could open it and help mommy out the car. Our children are always watching, we can’t forget this.
2. Be consistent.
Being consistent is essential when it comes to disciplining children. Between the ages of 1 and 2 children begin to pick up on which parent they can ask to get what they want. If they don’t get the answer they are looking for the other parent to give their desired “Yes!”. Consistency requires that we as parents are disciplined. We have to be the same every day, when we’re alert and even when we’re tired. When we’re on vacation and when they are in school consistency is the key to parenting.
What other parental cliches have you used? What which ones have you vowed that you wouldn’t use on your own children?
