Leading Through A Pandemic

The past week or so has been a trying time for our nation. In case you’re wondering what I am referring to, you can take a look at my previous post here. The stories are constantly on rotation on all news networks, all over social media. While trying to process all of this information how are you going to lead your family through the back part of this pandemic?

Who is following you?

Does anyone really have the answers during this time? I can tell you no, there isn’t a concrete set of answers that we can all use. There isn’t a set of rules that will help us lead our children, spouses, and loved ones through this. All we can offer is our best advice and hope that it helps. 

That’s what I want to do here. Offer some ideas and thoughts that I pray will help or get you thinking about how we can prepare our families for coming out of this pandemic. 

 

  • Communicate

 

Communication is the strength of any relationship. Within your family, each person needs to be able to communicate their expectations and feelings during this time. From this point, you can decide what would be best for the family as a unit. 

 

  • Have a Plan

 

This second half of the year is going to be one of reintegration. The best way to prepare for the upcoming season is to plan for it. Did you miss your family vacation? Were birthdays put on hold? Now would be a great time to develop a plan on how you can do those things again. 

 

  • Know Yourself

 

Throughout this pandemic time, mental health has been emphasized more and more. Rightly so, because this time has been stressful with the health concerns, the employment fluctuations, and the closings of schools. How are you feeling during this time? Are you ready for the reintegration to begin? Use this time to sort through our own feelings and try to prepare for the next phase. 

 

  • Prayer 

 

It is through prayer that we can gain access to God. You have to be able to know what is right for you and your family. Despite what the local and state governments are saying about the reintegration, it is through prayer that you will know what is right for you. What we really want is God’s knowledge and wisdom in this situation. 

 

Discussion Question:

What are you looking forward to after this time of quarantine?

Fear No More

2 Timothy 1:7 KJV

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

No fear

Don’t Live a Life of Fear

I thought about not writing about this topic, then I wasn’t sure if I wanted to write about it or what I would say. So I’ll go with where I am at the moment. 

Fear is a powerful force. Left unchecked it can drive your life and influence every decision that you make in life. I don’t want to live a life of fear. 

The cases of Ahmad Arbery and George Floyd have really hit home lately. These are such tragic situations that really could take place in any city in America. Add on top of that is the case of Amy Cooper calling the police on an African American man who simply asked her to leash her dog. A rule that is visible throughout the area of Central Park.

I don’t want to go into details about each of the cases but you can research them and find out for yourself. I’m not running from sharing the details, or anything like that, but reading the details and seeing how these men were treated is just hard for me. We are not that different. It could have been me; it could be you or someone you know. 

With all that being said, I can’t let the fear of what “could happen” drive my life. That’s not a way for a person to live their life. So what are we supposed to do?

  • Chose to Love and Not Fear

Choosing to love and not fear doesn’t mean that I will be silent about things that happen. We still have to speak out against horrible acts like this. What it does mean is that I will not hold on to fear in my heart. I will choose to hold on to love. I want my heart to be full of love and not fear. Hopefully, that will come out in my actions to educate others around me, white and black. May that love comes out in the words that I speak and the actions that I have towards others. 

 

  • Don’t become Dull

It seems like there are more and more stories of African Americans being mistreated coming out. Honestly, it’s hard to not become dull to the stories. The more you see, read and hear about a tragedy, the easier it is to get accustomed to it. We live in a 24hr news cycle with Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter we can be inundated with heartbreaking stories. 

We have to find a way to empathize with people that are suffering and also not become dull to “another story.” The balance of that is very hard.  Over and over we read these stories and have to purpose in our hearts not carry the weight of the world with each incident. 

 

  • It’s Okay to Take a Break

As I mentioned above, reading each tragic story can be a lot. It’s a lot for me. On top of that, everything that our country is going through with COVID-19, as an African American father, husband, son, and brother it can be a lot to take in. 

There has been a strong push for mental health. I’m in favor of it. We need to be able to talk, pray, and sometimes detach ourselves at least for a moment so that we can get the clarity and strength we need for ourselves, families, and society. Don’t be afraid or scared to say when you need a break.

Is There an Answer?

None of these steps are solutions to the problems that are going on, but just my thoughts as I process. I’ve been meditating on the scripture that I started with. It’s helped me and I hope that this helps you. 

Protecting What’s Important

Who rules your house? Who is the protector of your marriage? As a man, we assume that we are supposed to fulfill these roles. We’re supposed to be the “strong man” in our homes. We feel like we need to be everything for our families. We have this idea of being a “strong man” and what we’re supposed to do. 

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 But no one can go into a strong man’s house and ransack his household goods right and left and seize them as plunder unless he first binds the strong man; then indeed he may [thoroughly] plunder his house. [Mark 3:27]

 

So are we the strong man or are we the man ransacking the house? How can we protect those people and things that are most important to us? Here are some ways that we can protect what’s important. 

 

  • Realize that you can’t do it

 

This has to be the realization that you have from the beginning. How many of us realized how dependent we are on our jobs when we got furloughed because of corona-virus? The housing crisis of 2008 showed us how fragile our lives were. The comfort we got used to, was a deception. 

We need help. The previous two examples showed us that we are not in control of everything. Depending on the things that surround us has not helped us. Dependence on our employers to provide for many people has left them feeling abandoned. 

You can't do everything, and that's okay. Click To Tweet

As men, we have to realize that we can’t do everything, and nothing in our lives can be supported by us. That’s why we need God. He is the foundation and will support the weight of our lives. 

 

  • What Has Value

When we can’t protect anything and everything, we look around and judge what’s valuable. Is the TV more valuable than your wife or kids? How about a good marriage? Does that have some value to you? It’s been said that if you want to know what you value, just look at where you spend your time.

When you know what you value, then that will help you in knowing what to protect. When you value your marriage, you will protect it at all costs. Valuing your peace means that you will protect it. 

  • How to Protect

 

So how do we protect those things that we value? Is it by locking those things in a safe? No, we protect the things that we value by offering them to God. It is through giving them to Him that we can have peace. It’s the only way to truly protect the things we value. 

 

Discussion Question:

How are you protecting what you care about?