Tag: Christian

Dealing with Loss

This has been a hard week in the world of sports and entertainment. You’ve probably heard by now about the tragic news of Kobe Bryant, his daughter Gianna, baseball coach John Altobelli, his wife, Keri, and their daughter Alyssa; mother and daughter Sarah and Payton Chester; basketball coach Christina Mauser; and pilot Ara Zobayan. I’m not here to go over Kobe’s career or his life after basketball, but like so many people are thinking about their connections to him, I wanted to offer some words of comfort. 

Moments like this, where we may not have known someone personally, but were able to watch their life as we lived our own. These can be hard times. People will tell you to think of the good memories and that may help some of you. For me, it just made it worse.  So what do we do in these moments? 

How to deal with loss is something that everyone goes through. These are my ideas and thoughts on how to make it through. 

 

Prayer

 

This may seem like a “churchy” answer, but the truth is, when we have times of tragedy are when most people turn to God. That’s when you will see all of the prayer posts on social media. People tend to ask questions during this time. This may be the time most when people talk to God. 

 

For most people, prayer is where they go when they don’t know where else to go. They’re last resort for the unanswerable questions. Prayer for Christians isn’t about  God being our last resort, but it’s about making Him our first choice. So, we don’t just turn to God during times of trouble, but we realized He’s with us every day. 

 

Laughter

 

Difficult times become harder the more you spend your time thinking about them. Our minds begin to race to the unanswerable questions, and we can dwell on the loss or devastation. Laughter is a great way to keep you from dwelling on the hurt, pain, and loss. 

 

This is one thing that being on social media can help you with. Finding a funny video has never been easier. While the pain may be there, finding something to laugh at help break up the moment. 

 

Family

 

It’s sad that sometimes it takes a loss to remind us of the close ones we have around us. But it’s family and friends that can help us to get through the hard times. 

Difficult situations are not the time to be isolated. Having some time alone to process and sort through your feelings is one thing, but spending too much time alone can leave you open to depression setting in. At some point, you want to be around people to have that interaction. 

 

These are just some of my thoughts in regards to the passing of Kobe Bryant and all the victims that were in that helicopter.

Don’t make Resolutions in 2020

This is that time of year. You know,when every professional, influencer, and guru is going to try to sell you on why you need their program to make next year better. 

I understand that they all have a product that they believe in and that they want to get into the world. What all these Black Friday sales and End of Year Sales don’t tell you is that their product won’t help you. It won’t make your life different. You are the difference maker in your own life. 

It’s a New Year

The other day I was talking with my wife and realized something about myself. I have paid good, hard earned money on multiple writing courses. All with the promise of helping me become a better writer. What has actually happened, I have yet to finish any course all the way through. Have these courses done what they promised they would? I can’t truly answer that because I haven’t done the work needed. 

This is why we shouldn’t just buy all these products and services. Will they do what they say? Maybe. What it really comes down to is ourself. New Year’s Resolutions are a waste of time. Think of the last time that you made one and it actually made a difference that year. 

 

  1. Don’t make Resolutions, Make Changes

 

Many resolutions don’t stick through February because we make them out to be our wish list. We want to lose weight, we want to make more money, we want to spend more time with friends. All of those are wish list items. 

What we should be focusing on are developing better habits and skills that will benefit us. Resolutions are like wishes because we don’t really attach ourselves to those things. 

 

  1. Habits and Skills are better than Wishes

 

Instead of looking to make a New Years Resolution, this year I am going to focus on myself. For example I’ve been working on eating better, getting in better shape and taking care of my physical body better. So instead of making a resolution to lose weight, or to hit a certain number, I’m going to work on developing discipline to work out consistently. I’ll continue to eat better and developing 

 

  1. The Why is just as important as the What

 

Each year we make resolutions only to see them fall by the wayside by February and by April they are a distant memory. We’ve talked about why we should make changes and not resolutions, and why habits and skills are better than wishes. What lies behind all of those are the why. 

Why are looking to make these changes is just as important as what we are looking to change. Your why is your greatest driving factor. It is what will keep you going when things are tough, and when you want to give up on changing for the better. 

 

Discussion Question:

What motivates the changes you want to see in your life?

Planning Your 2020

Quote: if you fail to plan, you plan to fail 

 

“And the Lord answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it.”

‭‭Habakkuk‬ ‭2:2‬ ‭KJV‬‬

 

It’s the end of the year. The last month of 2019. How has this past year been for you? Has it been a year of great accomplishments? A year where you focused on yourself and grew as a person? Did your marriage make a turn for the better? Or maybe this year has just been another year like all the rest. It could be that this year was just another year. Nothing really changed or happened. Everything cruised along like all of the previous years.

 

A New Year is coming, are you ready

 

For me, this year has been one of experiences. There have been some great highs. Like starting this journey of homeschooling our children. It’s been such a treat to watch them grow and develop. This has been a year of my wife and I growing closer together. Being intentional about our marriage and working on it. 

This year has been a good year. But I’m also getting ready to prepare for next year. [We can enjoy the remainder of 2019 while envisioning a success plan for 2020] maybe this in place of the previous sentence 

 

  1. Reflect on the past year

 

To make sure that we’re not repeating the same things over and over each year we have to look at the previous year to see what worked. More importantly we have to look to see what didn’t work. 

We want to keep the things that work and then look to change what doesn’t work. Why keep doing something if it’s not driving you towards your destination?

 

  1. Dream of what you want next

 

How can you get to your destination if you don’t know where you’re going? Do you ever get in the car and drive with no destination in mind or no idea of where you want to go? No. We always at least have a destination in mind. 

Our dreams help us to see the destination of where we want to go. While there is time still left in this year, dream of what you want next year to be. Don’t put a cap on your dreams, let them run wild. The possibility for success is limitless when you can first see it 

 

  1. Goals and Habits Fuel the Dream

 

How will you go from where you are to the dream that you want? Our goals and habits are the fuel to get us there. Setting goals is a way to break down the dream in smaller steps that we can then begin to tackle. 

Through our habits we can then accomplish those goals, which fulfills the dream. All of these tie together. That’s why we have to know what works and what doesn’t work. 

 

The next year can be what we make of it. 

 

Discussion Question: What do you want your next year to look like?