Tag: love

Fear No More

2 Timothy 1:7 KJV

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

No fear

Don’t Live a Life of Fear

I thought about not writing about this topic, then I wasn’t sure if I wanted to write about it or what I would say. So I’ll go with where I am at the moment. 

Fear is a powerful force. Left unchecked it can drive your life and influence every decision that you make in life. I don’t want to live a life of fear. 

The cases of Ahmad Arbery and George Floyd have really hit home lately. These are such tragic situations that really could take place in any city in America. Add on top of that is the case of Amy Cooper calling the police on an African American man who simply asked her to leash her dog. A rule that is visible throughout the area of Central Park.

I don’t want to go into details about each of the cases but you can research them and find out for yourself. I’m not running from sharing the details, or anything like that, but reading the details and seeing how these men were treated is just hard for me. We are not that different. It could have been me; it could be you or someone you know. 

With all that being said, I can’t let the fear of what “could happen” drive my life. That’s not a way for a person to live their life. So what are we supposed to do?

  • Chose to Love and Not Fear

Choosing to love and not fear doesn’t mean that I will be silent about things that happen. We still have to speak out against horrible acts like this. What it does mean is that I will not hold on to fear in my heart. I will choose to hold on to love. I want my heart to be full of love and not fear. Hopefully, that will come out in my actions to educate others around me, white and black. May that love comes out in the words that I speak and the actions that I have towards others. 

 

  • Don’t become Dull

It seems like there are more and more stories of African Americans being mistreated coming out. Honestly, it’s hard to not become dull to the stories. The more you see, read and hear about a tragedy, the easier it is to get accustomed to it. We live in a 24hr news cycle with Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter we can be inundated with heartbreaking stories. 

We have to find a way to empathize with people that are suffering and also not become dull to “another story.” The balance of that is very hard.  Over and over we read these stories and have to purpose in our hearts not carry the weight of the world with each incident. 

 

  • It’s Okay to Take a Break

As I mentioned above, reading each tragic story can be a lot. It’s a lot for me. On top of that, everything that our country is going through with COVID-19, as an African American father, husband, son, and brother it can be a lot to take in. 

There has been a strong push for mental health. I’m in favor of it. We need to be able to talk, pray, and sometimes detach ourselves at least for a moment so that we can get the clarity and strength we need for ourselves, families, and society. Don’t be afraid or scared to say when you need a break.

Is There an Answer?

None of these steps are solutions to the problems that are going on, but just my thoughts as I process. I’ve been meditating on the scripture that I started with. It’s helped me and I hope that this helps you. 

Loving During a Crisis

In times of crisis, our true character shows. When we feel like we are backed into a corner, our real intentions, actions, and our hearts will show. Don’t believe me? Can anyone give a reason as to why stores are still selling out of toilet paper? Or why people were fighting in stores? Your true nature will show in times of crisis. So during this time of crisis, are your true colors, your true character showing?

We are showing our true colors in our marriages right now. We say we love our spouses but many couples during this time find themselves arguing, and not handling the confined space of togetherness well. 

In the Bible 1 Corinthians 13 tells us what love is. I think that there is something that we can learn from this and apply it to this time.

 

  • Love is patient and kind

 

More than anything we have to show our spouses patience and kindness. Patience in that you have to work through the adjustments together. Kindness also comes into play because making adjustments is not going to be easy and we should go the extra mile to be kind to each other. 

 

  • Love is not jealous, boastful or proud

 

Feelings of jealousy, or being boastful are ones that you have to be aware of during this time. In a confined space what may have started as a little thought can grow into something bigger where you become jealous, or boastful or proud. 

None of these feelings are going to work in a marriage, but in this type of environment, those feelings will get amplified. Actually acting on these emotions will destroy your marriage. 

 

  • Love Does Not Demand It’s Own Way

 

Getting through any tough situation requires that everyone work together. Each marriage is going to face hard times. There are going to be situations that you’re going to be difficult. How will you handle them? Demanding your own way is not the right way. That will cause a divide in your house and can cause a rift in your marriage. 

During a quarantine demanding your own way isn’t going to help you or your spouse get through it any faster. You’re going to have to learn to work together. 

 

  • Love Keeps No Record of Being Wrong

 

Keeping track or keeping score in a marriage is one of the fastest ways to destroy your marriage. 

Every marriage counselor will tell you that keeping a scorecard of rights and wrongs will destroy your marriage. 

Truly loving your spouse means being able to see past 

 

  • Love Never Gives Up

 

What I’m not saying here is that you stay in a relationship that is abusive in any way. What is important is that most marriages fail because of money and/or communication issues. 

There are times that we give up to early in life. We quit things before we get a chance to see if they pan out. In our relationships, we can give up. When things get hard or we have to have difficult conversations, we want to leave the relationship.

Don’t give up. 

 

Discussion Question:

What has this crisis revealed to you?

Love Thyself

Welcome to the Love Month

We are into the second month of this new year. February is officially the month to express your love. After all the New Years’ stuff for sale in stores, you see Valentines’ Day stuff. While everyone will be focusing on expressing love for their spouses, significant others and friends, that is not what I have been thinking about. 

Self-Care is Important

Self-care is a big movement. People want to know how to become more productive, how to grow as a person and plenty of other topics. Self-care is a very true thing. It’s something that we have to be aware of. 

 

Our self-care is comprised of our mentality, emotions, and spirits. We have to care for ourselves in all of these areas. There has been a big push about mental awareness lately. That’s fine and we should push to know more about ourselves and those around. While doing that we need to know more about ourselves and love.

 

Before my wife and I got married, it was recommended that we read The 5 Love Languages book. A lot of people have read it and know about the five languages that are discussed, quality time, acts of service, physical touch, gifts, and words of affirmation. We learned about each other and more importantly, we learned about ourselves. But, it’s not enough to just know your love language.

 

Learning about the way in which you receive love is a huge step in self-development. 

So while February is a month where we want to show love to those that are around us, we also should not forget about ourselves. Learning the way that you receive love is necessary. You have to continue to grow as a person. 

 

How Do You Receive Love?

How do you receive love? Are you trying to develop yourself? Start this, today. We spend so. much of our time giving to others and investing in them that we often forget that we should pour into ourselves. You have to make sure that your own tank is full before you can give it to others. 

 

Discussion Questions:

How do you take care of yourself?