Tag: marriage

Your Spouse & God Want The Same Thing

Have you been challenged this year? For most of us, I would think that we have been challenged. It has been an assault on our mental and spiritual. In these challenges, we can question God and wonder what does he want from us? 

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What Do They Want From Me?

Being quarantined with your spouse for the last 3-4 months we can have some of the same questions. The answer to both of these questions surprisingly is the same. What your spouse wants from you are the same things that God wants from us. 

I believe that there are four qualities that as men, our wives, and God want to see from us. Here is a quick take on these four things. There will be upcoming posts that will dive more in-depth into each of these traits. 

Continue reading “Your Spouse & God Want The Same Thing”

Protecting What’s Important

Who rules your house? Who is the protector of your marriage? As a man, we assume that we are supposed to fulfill these roles. We’re supposed to be the “strong man” in our homes. We feel like we need to be everything for our families. We have this idea of being a “strong man” and what we’re supposed to do. 

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 But no one can go into a strong man’s house and ransack his household goods right and left and seize them as plunder unless he first binds the strong man; then indeed he may [thoroughly] plunder his house. [Mark 3:27]

 

So are we the strong man or are we the man ransacking the house? How can we protect those people and things that are most important to us? Here are some ways that we can protect what’s important. 

 

  • Realize that you can’t do it

 

This has to be the realization that you have from the beginning. How many of us realized how dependent we are on our jobs when we got furloughed because of corona-virus? The housing crisis of 2008 showed us how fragile our lives were. The comfort we got used to, was a deception. 

We need help. The previous two examples showed us that we are not in control of everything. Depending on the things that surround us has not helped us. Dependence on our employers to provide for many people has left them feeling abandoned. 

You can't do everything, and that's okay. Click To Tweet

As men, we have to realize that we can’t do everything, and nothing in our lives can be supported by us. That’s why we need God. He is the foundation and will support the weight of our lives. 

 

  • What Has Value

When we can’t protect anything and everything, we look around and judge what’s valuable. Is the TV more valuable than your wife or kids? How about a good marriage? Does that have some value to you? It’s been said that if you want to know what you value, just look at where you spend your time.

When you know what you value, then that will help you in knowing what to protect. When you value your marriage, you will protect it at all costs. Valuing your peace means that you will protect it. 

  • How to Protect

 

So how do we protect those things that we value? Is it by locking those things in a safe? No, we protect the things that we value by offering them to God. It is through giving them to Him that we can have peace. It’s the only way to truly protect the things we value. 

 

Discussion Question:

How are you protecting what you care about?

Loving During a Crisis

In times of crisis, our true character shows. When we feel like we are backed into a corner, our real intentions, actions, and our hearts will show. Don’t believe me? Can anyone give a reason as to why stores are still selling out of toilet paper? Or why people were fighting in stores? Your true nature will show in times of crisis. So during this time of crisis, are your true colors, your true character showing?

We are showing our true colors in our marriages right now. We say we love our spouses but many couples during this time find themselves arguing, and not handling the confined space of togetherness well. 

In the Bible 1 Corinthians 13 tells us what love is. I think that there is something that we can learn from this and apply it to this time.

 

  • Love is patient and kind

 

More than anything we have to show our spouses patience and kindness. Patience in that you have to work through the adjustments together. Kindness also comes into play because making adjustments is not going to be easy and we should go the extra mile to be kind to each other. 

 

  • Love is not jealous, boastful or proud

 

Feelings of jealousy, or being boastful are ones that you have to be aware of during this time. In a confined space what may have started as a little thought can grow into something bigger where you become jealous, or boastful or proud. 

None of these feelings are going to work in a marriage, but in this type of environment, those feelings will get amplified. Actually acting on these emotions will destroy your marriage. 

 

  • Love Does Not Demand It’s Own Way

 

Getting through any tough situation requires that everyone work together. Each marriage is going to face hard times. There are going to be situations that you’re going to be difficult. How will you handle them? Demanding your own way is not the right way. That will cause a divide in your house and can cause a rift in your marriage. 

During a quarantine demanding your own way isn’t going to help you or your spouse get through it any faster. You’re going to have to learn to work together. 

 

  • Love Keeps No Record of Being Wrong

 

Keeping track or keeping score in a marriage is one of the fastest ways to destroy your marriage. 

Every marriage counselor will tell you that keeping a scorecard of rights and wrongs will destroy your marriage. 

Truly loving your spouse means being able to see past 

 

  • Love Never Gives Up

 

What I’m not saying here is that you stay in a relationship that is abusive in any way. What is important is that most marriages fail because of money and/or communication issues. 

There are times that we give up to early in life. We quit things before we get a chance to see if they pan out. In our relationships, we can give up. When things get hard or we have to have difficult conversations, we want to leave the relationship.

Don’t give up. 

 

Discussion Question:

What has this crisis revealed to you?