Tag: Men

Growth is Intentional

Are you able to tell when you are being driven by your emotions? The stereotype is that men aren’t emotional and that everything with them is at the surface level. 

That is a lie. Men can be just as emotional as women. What most have failed to realize is that it will manifest differently. Pushing down your emotions is not gender specific. Neither is wearing them on your sleeve. Do you know yourself well enough to know how your emotions impact you? 

As I learn about myself and with the help of my wife I’m beginning to see how my emotions impact me. Early on in our marriage, I didn’t talk much.  I would wait until everything seemed like it was too much for me to keep on the inside and then I would want to vent. 

For me, I handled my emotions like this because I never grew up knowing how to handle and process my emotions. 

Now I am able to process and talk about my emotions a little faster. I may not express them  in the moment,but I’m growing in effectively communicating in a healthy time frame. 

Commit to Growth

We should all have a process of growth. Growing is going from where we are now to a version of us that  masters every part of our lives. We have to grow mentally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally. Emotional growth is learning about how our emotions affect us. 

Becoming a better man doesn’t just happen when you reach a certain age. Your development as a person has to be intentional. 

If we were talking about money, we don’t wake up one day and become a millionaire, no we grow in our financial literacy and how to handle money. 

Read, Read, Read

The most successful people in any area are active readers. It doesn’t matter if it’s finances, marriages, or productivity, you have to become a reader. There are so many tools at your disposal to help with this. If you don’t like paper books, you can get ebooks. Maybe the thought of buying a book makes you nervous, then most libraries have an app where you can borrow the paper book or e-book or an audio book. The point is that you have to continue to educate yourself. Growth is intentional. 

Discussion Question:

What is one area that you want to grow in?

Family Time

Are you enjoying the time with your family? This past week I was able to do just that. I love family time. In a previous article I talked about how the foundations of our families. This includes traditions that you want to set. One such tradition that we have in our family is attending the National Auto Show in Detroit. We’ve gone every year since we’ve been married and my wife has been going since she was a little girl. It is one of my favorite parts of the year.

Family
Family Time

There can be such need to hustle and grind today. In you go on Instagram or Facebook, you see the how people are promoting themselves and their “grind.” It now seems to be the “in” thing to show about yourself. It’s self promotion at it’s finest. If we that’s what we have come to.

Truly pursuing your dream isn’t about showing everyone what you are doing. When something is important to you, you do it. You make time for it, and your attitude isn’t dependent on what people think about you. You also have balance.

Pursuing your dreams isn't about being seen on social media. Go after your dreams for those that mean the most to you Click To Tweet

Going after our dreams is great. I believe that we’re all called to do something great. Our lives are supposed to have an impact that is bigger than what we do at our jobs. We need the balance of our families. Achieving your dream will mean nothing if you don’t have people around you to celebrate with you. So how do you we have balance where we can change our dreams and enjoy our family.

  1. Schedule Family Time.

This may seem like it goes against quality time. The things on our schedules tend to be the things that get done. It’s important while your chasing your dream to make sure that those people closest to you know that they’re important to you. This is the time to turn off your phone and invest into your spouse and your family.

 

  1. Communicate your Dreams to your family

There isn’t a better feeling than having your family support you in chasing your dream. To make it easier for them to support you, bring them into the process of your dream. Communicate and share with them the things that you are trying to do. Share your dream with those closest to you. It will help them understand the sacrifice that you’re making and it will also give them what they need to support you during this time.

 

  1. Accept criticism

Pursuing a dream can sometimes put you in a frame of mind that is solely focused on one thing. Doing the above two things will help to keep things balanced in our life, but there can still be times were we can lose perspective. It is in those moments that we have to be able to accept criticism when our spouse or kids tell us that we’re out of balance. We don’t want to be on the defense all the time.

 

Discussion Question:

How do you maintain balance while pursuing your dream?

 

Built to Last: 3 ways to strengthen your marriage & have fun doing it

Built to Last

When we get married or even begin to have the idea that we want to get married, we don’t think about getting divorced. This is not one of those ventures where we are supposed to think of it ending before we begin. We want to have a happy ending.  

We want a marriage that will stand the test of time. When you think about your marriage, how do you see it? Can you see yourself still married to the same person 20, 30, 40 years from now? Are you happy or just two elderly roommates waiting for someone to come visit you?

From My Heart

My wife and I have been married for 7 years(at the time of this writing). While that may not seem like a long time to everyone, it’s a big deal for me. My parents marriage didn’t make it the long haul. They’re happy now, married to different people, but happy nonetheless. Going through their divorce showed me and reaffirmed in me that I wanted to make sure I was as sure as I could be when I wanted to get married. I wanted to do all that I could to make sure that my marriage would last throughout the years. Here are 3 ways to build a marriage that last.

1. Self Development.

Your marriage will grow as you continue to grow. Where we are now is not the final version of ourselves. Like a new iPhone that comes out each year with minor improvements, our growth will be the same. The version of you 5 years from now maybe “you version 8.0”, but those small improvements add up a big jump from where you are today. So don’t stress over the small improvements, or think that things aren’t changing fast enough. They are. It will be okay. As you grow, your marriage will grow.

2. Create couples rituals.

Do something regularly that bonds you, such as 10 minutes to chat before bed, always having morning coffee together, or saving Saturday for date night.

3. Have a daily check-in.

Marriage experts recommend couples do something that big business has employed for decades to keep workers happy, productive, and in the loop: hold regular team meetings. It’s a good thing that yours will be more fun than listening to Bob from accounting go over the last month’s sales numbers.  The idea is to keep communication flowing freely with an agenda.

  • Start by appreciating something about each other.
  • Offer up some new information from your day.
  • Ask your spouse about something that has bothered or puzzled you (or something about yourself).

You don’t have to do all of these things, but if you try one improvement for the next 30 days, you’ll find yourself in a better marriage than you had a month ago.

What do you do to strengthen your marriage?