Tag: relationships

Family Time

Are you enjoying the time with your family? This past week I was able to do just that. I love family time. In a previous article I talked about how the foundations of our families. This includes traditions that you want to set. One such tradition that we have in our family is attending the National Auto Show in Detroit. We’ve gone every year since we’ve been married and my wife has been going since she was a little girl. It is one of my favorite parts of the year.

Family
Family Time

There can be such need to hustle and grind today. In you go on Instagram or Facebook, you see the how people are promoting themselves and their “grind.” It now seems to be the “in” thing to show about yourself. It’s self promotion at it’s finest. If we that’s what we have come to.

Truly pursuing your dream isn’t about showing everyone what you are doing. When something is important to you, you do it. You make time for it, and your attitude isn’t dependent on what people think about you. You also have balance.

Pursuing your dreams isn't about being seen on social media. Go after your dreams for those that mean the most to you Click To Tweet

Going after our dreams is great. I believe that we’re all called to do something great. Our lives are supposed to have an impact that is bigger than what we do at our jobs. We need the balance of our families. Achieving your dream will mean nothing if you don’t have people around you to celebrate with you. So how do you we have balance where we can change our dreams and enjoy our family.

  1. Schedule Family Time.

This may seem like it goes against quality time. The things on our schedules tend to be the things that get done. It’s important while your chasing your dream to make sure that those people closest to you know that they’re important to you. This is the time to turn off your phone and invest into your spouse and your family.

 

  1. Communicate your Dreams to your family

There isn’t a better feeling than having your family support you in chasing your dream. To make it easier for them to support you, bring them into the process of your dream. Communicate and share with them the things that you are trying to do. Share your dream with those closest to you. It will help them understand the sacrifice that you’re making and it will also give them what they need to support you during this time.

 

  1. Accept criticism

Pursuing a dream can sometimes put you in a frame of mind that is solely focused on one thing. Doing the above two things will help to keep things balanced in our life, but there can still be times were we can lose perspective. It is in those moments that we have to be able to accept criticism when our spouse or kids tell us that we’re out of balance. We don’t want to be on the defense all the time.

 

Discussion Question:

How do you maintain balance while pursuing your dream?

 

Are You Selfish

The only difference between a hero and the villain is that the villain chooses to use that power in a way that is selfish and hurts other people. – Chadwick Boseman

 

Does being selfish in a relationship make us the villain? Not necessarily, but it’s a thin line that we can easily cross. It’s hard to not be selfish in a relationship. We have to learn to be selfless and selfish, otherwise our friendships, relationships or marriages won’t make it.

I was recently texting with a friend who I hadn’t been in contact with in a long time. Since it had been a while since we last talked I was asking him to bring up to speed on his family, job and other things. Sometimes it’s nice to hear from people you haven’t head from in awhile. What the conversation turned in was just about him. There wasn’t any reciprocal. That is selfish. A one sided conversation. As a thought about our past conversations and times hanging out I realized that a lot of our friendship was one sided.

How can we go from being selfish to selfless:

 

  1. Think about your spouse’s favorite things and work on being a more thoughtful giver. A lot of times we as men don’t always think ahead. While we may know that birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays are coming getting the actual gift seems to slip by us. That won’t happen if we spend consistent time thinking on their favorite things.
  2. Challenge yourself to try new things that benefit others.

Whether it’s friendships or your marriage, we have to be willing to step out of our comfort zones for that person. It might be scary and uncomfortable, but it’ll be a unique and memorable experience that you have together.

  1. Give God all of your selfishness, be real and open about what you want to change and God will do it.
  2. Create a Good Habit. To make sure that it’s not a selfish habit. Look to establish something that helps you focus on others
  3. Pray for your spouse. There’s nothing that will take your mind off of yourself like praying for someone else. A heartfelt prayer, will put into perspective on how selfish we’ve been and how much we need to consider the other person. Bringing God into the conversation, always brings clarity.

How do you know when you’re being selfish? What do you do to correct get out of being selfish?

 

Conversations, Conversations

“Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?” This is one of the most famous movie lines from the Rush Hour movies.

Communication is two parts; what is being said and how it is being received. What types of conversations are you having? How are they being perceived? We have to be considerate of both of parts, especially when it comes to the conversations we have with our spouses.

When You Walk into a Room

Have you ever walked into a room where a couple was just arguing? It’s like you can feel the tension in the room. You have just walked into the most awkward and uncomfortable room in the entire house. You will almost make up something, anything else to do in order to get out of that room. Have you been the person having the conversation?

The types of conversations that we have are just as important as the conversations themselves. With our spouses there shouldn’t be any barriers or walls between us and them. Yes, we can talk to just about anyone, but there is a difference between talking to someone and having a conversation.

Talking vs Conversations

Talking to someone happens during the course the day. That it a natural part of who we are. We can talk about the weather, sports, the latest sale or great deal we got. A conversation shows that we are invested. Conversations are where we are truly giving of ourselves. Those are the deep conversations that we have with just a small group of people.

So what types of conversations are we having?

 

  • Surface. These conversations don’t really have any depth to them. You talk about some of the things that I mentioned earlier. Guys we can be really good at these. Talking about our favorite sports team would fall into this category. My friends and I have recognized that we can surface conversations and not realize it.
  • Basic. These conversations may be the ones that you have with a co-worker. You spend so much time in the same environment that you reveal a little more than a surface conversation. You may talk about your families and children.
  • Intimate. These are the conversations that you have with only those that are close to you. Your spouse and your best friend may be the only people with whom you have these types of conversations. They know your weaknesses, strengths, fears, and dreams.
  • Toxic. We probably have more of these conversations than we would like to admit. Toxic conversations are not a benefit to anyone, they actually are attempts to put up walls between you and the other person.

 

So what type of conversations are you having? The good news is that you control which type of conversation you’re having. You can move through the different categories as you want. Our lives should be full of basic and intimate conversations. These are the ones that will push us to be a better person.