If you’re not married, You should start these now
Being married is not easy, it can be work, hard work. That’s what most people seem to think and it is the providential thought behind marriage. With the divorce rate what it is today and the lack of “happy” marriages around us, it can be hard to argue against this notion. I think that we approach marriage all wrong. That’s why we see a high divorce rate, and all the other statistics that tell us marriage isn’t working. But there’s another way.
The other day I was talking with a friend of mine having a casual conversation when the conversation turned and got a little serious for minute and we talked about our wives. My friend said to me “ You know, sometimes I think about my wife and say to myself I’ve got a good one.” That really got me thinking about my own wife.
A marriage is what you make it out to be. It can be one of the best things in your life or it can be one of the worst. It is very much a what you put into it, you get out relationship. One of the best books that I read with my wife called The 5 Love Languages. It was a tremendous blessing to our marriage. Here are three things that every husband should consider.
How does she Receive Love?
- Your wife does not receive love the same way you do. Most people don’t realize this. We think that our spouse will love the things that we love. Or we think that how we receive love is how spouse would receive love. My wife is a Words of Affirmation type of person. She loves hand written cards, love notes, etc. When I realized this, it didn’t stop me from getting her a gift for Christmas, her birthday or just because, but it did cause me to think of ways that I can show her love in ways that would speak to her heart.
Our Expectations
- Expectations that are not voiced are expectations that are never met. We can hold our spouse to expectations that are in our minds. If we never discuss those expectations with our spouse then there can never be a resolution. Without this discussion we can begin to see the other person’s actions, or non actions, and communication through the lens of our expectations that were never addressed.
Date Night
- Never let your date night go. We go through life, get married, have kids and life goes by, we tend forget or drift from the person that we wanted to do all of those things with. A weekly, bi-weekly, monthly date night should be a cherished part of marriage. Couples go through life and the marriage becomes like roommates passing in the wind. As you grow as a person, use your dates night to invest in each other. Talk about your dreams, new interest, new hobbies, anything and everything. Don’t limit yourself to your date night being dinner and a movie.
A Good One
Do I have a “good one?” Absolutely. I love my wife and I look forward to the rest of our lives together. I also want to watch her grow as a person, mother and wife. Do we always get along perfectly, no we don’t, but we don’t let the little things become bigger issues without dealing with them first.
If we focus on the three things mentioned above then our marriages can be one of the best things in our lives. Know how your spouse receives love, communicate your expectations, and never let go of your date night.
Discussion Question:
What things have you learned in your dating or marriage experience that cause you to think about your “Good One?”
