Tag: date your spouse

5 Ways to be Your Spouse’s Best Friend

Spouse's Best Friend

A Good Foundation

The best marriages are built with a foundation of being good friends. Before anything romantic happens, friendship needs to be present. You have to be more than friends. We are friends with the people on Facebook. Yet somehow we struggle to be friends with our spouses. For our marriages to be great, we need the basis of a good friendship.

There are five steps to becoming best friends with your spouse:

1. Be a friend.

Proverbs 18:24 says, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Good times are fun and can create wonderful memories. Sometimes it is the hardest of times that can strengthen a relationship.

You can’t just be your spouse’s friend when it’s convenient.  Friendship is forged during times of hardship or adversity and that’s when you learn to trust each other. That’s when you pay the most attention. A true friend loves at all times.

2. Believe in each other.

It’s hard to be friends with someone who doesn’t believe in you. One of the reasons God created marriage was to bring us to our full potential. That’s one of the things men and women do for each other. We bring out the best in each other. Support your spouse. Do you know what their dreams and desires are? Find out and help them achieve those things.

One day we will stand before Jesus and give an account of what we’ve done for our spouse. Have you brought him or her to their full potential? Find out why God created your spouse and then help him or her get there. Pray for your spouse and God will show you how to support them. When you have two people in a marriage who believe in each other, you become best friends.

3. Embrace each other’s differences.

A friend who rejects you will not be your friend for very long. Compatibility is based on character and values, not on sameness. That means your husband or wife may be very different from you.

Will you celebrate those differences or reject them? Do you spend your time training or complaining your spouse to become more like you? Or praising them for being unique?

4. Be real and transparent.

Friendship means being honest. Your spouse needs to know your heart, your thoughts, and your perspective. And you must allow your spouse the same right. Closing parts of yourself off from your spouse can build a barrier against intimacy and trust.

5. Be a safe place.

Every husband needs to be his wife’s refuge, and vice versa. Your best friend is the person you call when something great or terrible happens. Why? Because they are safe. Because you depend on them. You know they’re going to celebrate good news and be encouraging when you’re facing bad news. Being the safe place for your spouse is something very special. It’s not always put into words, but it holds a special place in your spouse’s heart.

Good Foundations

The healthiest marriages are built on a foundation of friendship. It makes everything else easier, but you have to work at it. If you’re not best friends with your spouse now, then decide to work at reaching a new level in your relationship. Ask God to bring you closer as you pursue these steps together.

3 Things Successful Couples Do Differently

Social Media Post

We’ve all seen the pictures on Facebook and Instagram of the elderly couple holding hands. It says something like “in our day we fixed things and didn’t leave them when times get tough.” We all look at those pictures and post and think things like “Awe that’s sweet.”

Is something like this still attainable today? Are there still couples out there that have been together for 30, 40, or 50 years?

What do You Want?

I’m not sure about you, but I can say that I want this. I want to be married to my wife for the rest of my life. I want to share the joys of seeing our children and grandchildren grow up. The types of post and pictures that we see on all the social media platforms got me to thinking of what a “successful couple” is and do I want that for my wife and I. So I’ve decided I want to be a “successful couple.”

Successful Couples

What is a successful couple and how do we define it, if that’s possible. I believe that a successful couple is one that isn’t defined by how much money they have or the jobs that they work. Rather a successful couple is one that makes an impact on the world around them.

Here are three things that I’ve found that successful couples do, that we can learn from.

1. They’ve learned to lean on each other

These couples don’t give in to pride in their relationship. They’ve learned to be there for each other. To comfort, support and be counsel for their spouse. They can respect the other persons opinion and trust that they are being heard.

These couples don’t try to take everything on themselves. They discuss, ask and listen. These couples support each other.

If she is having work problems, he’s there to defend her thought process and help her any way possible. If he’s in a weird family argument, she’s there to help him see through the mess and to offer help in seeing the bigger picture.

2. They don’t compare their relationship to other couples.

One thing that can kill your relationship before it ever gets off the ground is comparing it to another couple. Facebook and Instagram are great for destroying relationships. People only get to the see the “perfect” picture presented. Successful couples love the inside jokes that they have. They cherish the idiosyncrasies and layers of their relationship. Those are the things that are not posted online, but those are the things that keep the love alive in your relationship.

3. They use each other’s love language.

I’m a big fan of the 5 Love Languages. You can gain so much insight from being able to do something for your spouse that will really touch their heart. Successful couples have learned their love language and they speak it as much as possible. We do have to understand that not everyone gives and receives love the same way we do. So understanding your spouse or partners love language gives you the path to be able to show them how much you love them in a way that they will positively receive it.

Decide for yourself what a ‘successful couple” is, and then comment below. What have you found that “successful couples” do?

Should You use a DateBox?

My wife and I recently received a Datebox as a gift. If you don’t know what Datebox is, it is a service that gives you “Everything you need for a fun and creative date delivered to your door”(Datebox.com) . There are different activities and new opportunities in each box. You can sign up for a paid subscription, and they have different plans that are available. You can check out the plans for yourself at www.getdatebox.com.

This isn’t a technical review of Datebox, but more of me just relating my experience and then for you to make your own decision. I’m sure that there are other services like Datebox, and as I come across them, I’ll be happy to share my experience with you.

Contents

Our Datebox included: 2 blank canvases, brushes, and acrylic paint. There were also conversations starters and the ingredients to make cake pops with a Spotify playlist to set the mood.  We started making the cake pops so that they could go in the oven, while we prepped to paint. With our favorite music softly playing in the background, and a blank canvas in front of us we got out our painting materials and let our creative juices flow.

Communication

While we painted, we used the conversation starters. We started with one of the cards which then encouraged us to share our hearts with each other. These types of games can seem trivial, especially if you have been together with your spouse a long time. However, when you approach with a heart seeking to enjoy the experience, you can learn something new or remember some things you may have forgotten over the years.

Datebox datebox
After the cake pops were done, we let them cool and ate a couple of them. They were a little sweet for our taste, but I enjoyed the overall concept.

Connection

Could a Datebox or a service like Datebox be beneficial to you? I believe that it can be. It can help all types of couples. For those that have been together for years, it can be something fresh and new to do together.  Couples that are newly married or dating it can be a way to solidify your relationship. For the married couples with kids, it can be a way to have some quality time after the kids have gone to bed.

We enjoyed the Datebox that we received. It will be stored in the back of our minds as something we can add to our list of dating options.

Have you guys tried Datebox or other services? What were your experiences?