How is Your Love Tank?
How important is our spouse, our friends, and family? Are we making deposits into those that we have relationships with? There is something my wife and I like to do, we do these little check ins with each other. We’ll ask “How’s your love tank?” The purpose of it is to make sure that we are putting deposits into our relationship, specifically for the other person and not just being a one who withdraws.
Deposits
What is a deposit? A deposit is something that you do specifically for the other person in the relationship. You’re looking to make an impact on the other person’s heart. You want to “deposit” an act of love, an act that speaks directly to their heart.
When we are in a relationship with someone else, whether spouse, friend, or family, we should look to make a deposit into that person. When deposits are made on a consistent basis, it is easier when a withdraw has to be made. It’s easier to need your spouse to cover things at home while you’re working late to meet a deadline when deposits are made. It’s easier to ask a friend or family member to be with you after a surgery when deposits are made.
It’s Not about Me
Making deposits isn’t about us. This is a selfless act. You’re saying that I’m doing with act strictly because I care about the other person.
Being a person that only withdraws is selfish. I used to have a friend in middle school who was like this. Our school would serve breakfast in the morning before class started. Every morning I would try to get to school early enough where I could get some breakfast, and this friend would be there with me. However, I seemed to be the one always buying them breakfast. After awhile I grew tired of buying them breakfast and had to tell them no. Needless to say we didn’t stay friends for much longer. The point here is that this friend was only making withdraws from our friendship. Only making withdraws at some point you will use more than what you’ve deposited.
My wife and I read The Five Love Languages and one of the main aspects it taught us was how to make significant deposits into each other. To know their “Love Language.” People that we care about, each have their own way about what will touch their heart and be a “deposit.”
I encourage you to do a little relationship maintenance and check with your spouse, family, and friends to see how their tank is. Are you making more deposits or withdraws?
