Developing Patience

patience

What could we all use more of that we don’t necessarily think we need? Patience. Being patient is hard. There are so many things around us that tell us we don’t have to be patient. The world tells us that we are great and that we can have what we want when we want. We see it from children who throw temper tantrums in stores because they want candy and chips now.  Young adults want good grades in a class simply for being in class regardless of the quality of the work they complete. Impatience is embedded into our society from microwave dinners and credit cards to Netflix and Hulu. With the premise behind the latter, that we can watch what we want, when we want and as long as we want.

So how do we develop more patience? Is it something that we either have or don’t have? I truly believe that we can all develop more patience. Being patient is a character trait that can and should be developed.  Here are some tips that I’ve used and hopefully they will benefit you.
Keep in mind this is not by any means a complete list on how to develop patience:

 

Wait

Wait 24 hours before making any big decisions or purchases. I would and, sometimes still will, set a price limit for myself when it comes to buying things. For example, I have set a limit of $100. Anything over that, I will wait 24hrs to think about it and then decide if I really need it. I’m an Apple fanatic who is writing this blog on a MacBook, with an IPhone by my side and IPad on my desk.  Each year when the announcement comes of the new line of Apple products I have to go through this process. I want the new versions of everything, but waiting has helped me to stay with my IPad 2, and not to buy an Apple Watch.

Look

Look for the pattern that may cause you to be impulsive. For me it’s an emotional trigger. If I have a bad day, or am upset I am eager to buy something.  Looking for a pattern requires us to look inward and to be honest with ourselves. It also requires that we track our days, our feelings, as much as we can remember. You’re going to need a journal for this. Something small enough that you can keep it with you always. I’ve found that it’s easier to write things down immediately after they happen than to try and remember what happened and how it felt later that night or the next day.

Pray

Prayer. The strength that I needed to say no or to wait allows me to hear from God. In a time of sincere prayer where I expressed that I needed and wanted to change in this area, I believe that God not only heard me but that He also helped me. There are times when we need more than our will to change, we need more than just what we can muster up in ourselves. That is where our prayer comes into play. God helped me and I believe that He will help you too.

These are some of the things that I did that help me to develop patience. I still do many of the above things and look for ways that I can continue to grow in patience.  Our personal growth should never stop.

3 Reasons Why Dinner and a Movie is not a Date

Dating Your Spouse

I’m a firm believer that married couples should “date their spouse.” This terms means that couples should not settle for the routine of being married. While this routine is easy to fall into, dating your spouse should push you to grow. It’s for this reason that I am a firm believer that dinner and a movie does not qualify as a date. Here are three reasons why dinner and movie is not a date.

  1. Lack of communication– Communication is the key to a successful marriage or relationship. While there may be some communication during dinner, most of the time it is not meaningful. I like to refer to this just as talking to one another. Talking is a conversation that you can have with anyone. Communicating is different because there is an intentional investment that you are looking to make. You are looking to invest in your spouse, you are wanting to learn more about them, and you want them to return that investment in you.
  2. Lack of thought/creativity– Dinner and a movie is a fall back idea of going out that many couples go to. Dating your spouse should require more thought and planning than picking a restaurant and movie selection. A date should be an event or series of events that were planned to be a new experience for the couple. Dates should be opportunities to make memories. They should be opportunities to pour into your spouse. This is where reading The 5 Love Languages really helped my wife and I. While we both enjoy movies, and going out to eat, we still need to invest in each other. My primary love language is Quality Time. My wife would plan dates where every aspect of it was geared towards us spending time together. Not in crowded places or loud places, but where the focus could be her and I. She spent time thinking about these dates, how to plan them and how the events would touch my heart. When we go on dates, they should touch the other person’s heart.
  3. Lack of Potential for More– Dinner and a movie is exactly what it seems. When a date is meaningful, there is the potential for it to turn into more. For the event or activity to turn into something that you and your spouse can do on a regular basis. It should hold a special place in your heart. One date that my wife and I planned was where we went to a closed event with a chef. We could get a lesson on cooking and then eat the food that was prepared. This was a great date for both of us because we both enjoy cooking. This has potential for more because we could communicate throughout the night. There was a great level of thought put into the date and we could invest in each other. We are looking forward to the next time that we can do something like this.

A Year of Purposeful Dating

2017 has begun. Let’s not let dinner and a movie be the staple of our marriages. We should start dating our spouse or continue to date them. Invest in your spouse like never before. Plan dates, read books together, and love one another. What are some of your favorite date ideas?

Is Thanksgiving Lost?

A Conversation

The other day I was checking out at a local store. The woman behind says “I think there is all ready Christmas music and decorations out.” My reply was “I know, I can’t believe it.” She just let out a little sigh and we both proceeded to check out and make our way to our vehicles. In that moment I realized how much we pass over Thanksgiving.

 

Thanksgiving used to be a month long event. An entire month where it was more about having a day off and feeding our faces. It was an entire month that was about being thankful. Thanksgiving was a month of being reflective. Looking at our lives and being thankful for the people and things that we have. christmas-table-setting-picjumbo-com

My earlier conversation showed me how much this spirit has been lost. A month of being thankful has been regulated to a week. Thanksgiving has become a bridge from Halloween to Christmas. It’s more about the food we get to eat, than about actually being thankful for something/anything. How did this happen?

Is it about the money?

A lot of it has to do with the market ability of Halloween and Christmas. Companies can make a lot of money during those times. Thanksgiving isn’t as marketable. Spending money on ourselves doesn’t promote that spirit of thankfulness.

Being Thankful Everyday

Let us get back to having a spirit of thankfulness. When we do something for someone don’t reply “No problem,” say “You’re welcome.” Subtle changes like this reveal how much of our conversations can be about us. To where we will say “No problem” because it makes us feel better and it reinforces the impression that we did the other person a favor. It moves the focus of the conversation to us. Saying “You’re welcome” moves the conversation to the other person. It removes us and focuses on them.

This season let us truly be thankful. Look and analyze our lives to see the many blessings that we have. There are so many things that we can be thankful for. Don’t allow Thanksgiving to just be the bridge between Halloween and Christmas. We should be thankful all year. We could all use the spreading of more love. True love can only be shared when there is a spirit of thankfulness involved.