My youngest sister got married over Memorial Day weekend. It was a beautiful ceremony. They didn’t need or ask for my advice. They have a Pastor they trust, plenty of friends, and family if they needed or will need advice. However, all of the festivities got me to thinking about what advice I would give to a newly married couple.
No Anger
1. The Bible talks about not going to bed angry. The truth of the matter is that all couples have disagreements. What those disagreements turn into is up to you. They can become full blown fights or they can be resolved issues that bring you even closer together .
Our minds tend to play the “what if” game. This is especially true when it comes to disagreements. If we don’t talk about the issues when they are fresh, our minds can take over and we play multiple scenarios that only seem to rise our blood pressure and make us angry.
Don’t let issues sit overnight.
Communication
2. Learn to communicate. One of the biggest issues that causes divorce is communication or the lack there of. Part of communicating is learning how your spouse receives information.
I tend to be more of a black and white person. Meaning that I only want to hear the rules and information. I don’t necessarily need the extra fluff. My wife on the other hand tends to be more gray. She needs to hear the whole story and all the details in between in order to paint a clear picture.
All of these plays a part when we communicate to each other. I have to work on giving more than just the facts. I know that she wants to hear how I felt about the situation. She wants to know what I thought, why I thought that way and how I feel about it. When she communicates to me she knows that I really just want the facts. Does this work out perfectly in every conversation that we have? No, but what it does is help us to understand each other better.
Work Together
3. Less about Compromise and More Working together. I don’t like the word compromise because it gives the indication that one person is losing out on something. Coming together means that there is something that each person is working towards that is bigger than themselves. It has to be less about what each individual wants and more about what is good for the marriage.
These rules don’t apply only for newlyweds. I believe that these rules will help newlyweds, couples that have been married for awhile, and people that are dating.
Your Advice
What advice would you give to newlyweds? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.
Great article! I agree that communication is so important because it helps you connect with your mate on a deeper level