How well do You See?
Do you see your spouse? Truly see them. Do you notice when they are going through something, when they are having a rough day, or when they are having a great day. When was the last time you went out of your way to shower them with compliments? What was the last text message you sent them? Was it just about what to eat for dinner or something do with the kids? When was the last flirty message you sent?
There are days and times when we need to stop and see our spouses. Being married has great benefits and is a monumental step in our lives, but just as it is this big achievement, we can also take it for granted. We can also take our spouse for granted.
I recently have been blessed to transfer from a 3rd shift job in a factory to more of a corporate job that is in my field of study. The transition has been a hard one but a happy one. It’s been great to participate in some of the daily family things that we can take for granted. Anyone that has worked an overnight shift knows how many things you can miss out on.
Looking Beyond Yourself
One of things that you don’t always consider is the toll that it can take on your spouse. For awhile I didn’t see it either. I was too concerned with myself. I needed to sleep, or trying to get more sleep when I had only slept for a couple of hours. What I was not seeing was the toll that it was taking on my wife. While I was trying to get sleep, she was the one that had to pick up on the things around the house. All the family needs and responsibilities was on her to carry. I had to make an adjustment and we had to have an open conversation about this new schedule and how we were each dealing with it. Some aspects had to change for the betterment of our family.
So how do make sure that we can always have the tough conversations? More importantly I think that we have to make sure that we do not overlook our spouses when we are going through a change. Here are two ways that we can do that:
1. Step back.
While it may be hard having to adjust to a new situation, I’ve learned that if it is hard for me, it’s twice as hard for my family. The same is probably true of you too. As hard as we may be going through something, when it takes us away from those closest to us it leaves a hole that needs to be filled. We can’t get so caught up in our own world that we neglect the hole that we’re leaving behind.
2. Have the end in sight.
The only thing that makes the hard times harder, is when we can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. We need to have hope and a vision of what things will be like when we leave the darkness. So if you’re going through a hard time, picture what you want your life to be after you come through this situation.
How have you learned to “see” your spouse?
