Tag: date your spouse

Love Changes

Love changes over time. Accept the fact. We can’t run from it or hide from it. It’s going to change. Are we prepared for the changes is another matter. Can we go with the changes and make sure that we don’t lose the love. That really should be how we view it love. It’s okay if it changes, but we can’t lose it or let it become dormant.

I’ve been married to my wife for almost 9 years now, and even in that time our love has changed. While we were dating, newlyweds and the beginning of our marriage everything was great. We would spend every chance we got talking on the phone or taking walks around town. It might have been typical for two people who were falling in love with each other and building a relationship. For us, it was special and began to lay the foundation for us.

Now, we’re at the point where we have been married for a little bit of time. We have two young children and we’re setting the foundations for our family. Has our love changed from those early days? Absolutely, and it should change as we change throughout our lifetime. As our marriage grows and changes, our love should change with it.

Love should change as you grow as a person Click To Tweet

Love changes over time. Well, it should. It should grow as you grow as a person and it should grow as your relationship grows. There is beauty in the growth and changes that can happen in love. How do you embrace the changes in love?

 

  1. Expect the changes to come

 

Some of the hardest changes in life are when they are unexpected. An unexpected loss of a job, or the unexpected change in a friendship, or an unexpected change in our health are all very hard things to adjust to in life. In terms of love and the love in our marriages, we should expect it to grow. Don’t expect that it will stay the same as when you were dating. Your love should change as you do.

 

  1. Communicate through the changes

 

A lot of couples fail and a lot of marriages fail because of the lack of communication. The longer that you are with someone means that there is a greater need for quality communication. Quality communication is different than just talking to someone. Quality means involving yourself into the conversation. The longer that you are with someone, you have to have more quality conversations because you tend to know more of the details about them. Growing as a person shows us that quality conversations are needed to keep the connections strong.

 

  1. Date Nights are essential

 

There nothing that will lead to the love in your marriage becoming stale or non-existent more than not spending time together. Regular date nights are the cure to that. Date nights will help you communicate and have quality conversations. While each date may not be the over the top, birds singing, stuff of movies, but each date can be an opportunity to strengthen your marriage.

 

Discussion Question

How has your love changed?

 

It’s About Our Heart, Words & Thoughts

If we understood the power of our thoughts, we would guard them more closely. If we understood the awesome power of our words, we would prefer silence to almost anything – Anonymous

We’ve all heard the references when someone is getting married. “The ol’ ball and chain or your old man/lady not letting you out to play with your friends.” It’s not that these types of comments that are so bad. They have become a part of our culture. What bothers me, are the responses that we so many times play along with these jokes.

In my own marriage I don’t ever refer my spouse as the “ol’ ball and chain.” That just seems to lessen what my wife means to me. I know, you may be thinking that I’m taking things too seriously and that these are just jokes. They don’t mean any harm. I’m sure they’re not intended with any malice or anything like that. For me however, I just value my wife that much.

You Tell More than You Know

How do we see our spouses? If you ever want to know what a person thinks about their marriage or their spouse, just listen. Most people talk more than they think they do. I’m a firm believer that if you listen long enough you can tell how a person really feels by what comes out of their mouth. What they say is key.

What you say about your spouse when they aren't around is just as important as when they are around Click To Tweet

So, what are we saying about our spouses? If what we say with our mouth is a tell tale of what is in our heart, then what is in our hearts about our spouses?

What’s In Your Heart

Change what’s in your heart and you will change the way you think. We can change what’s in our hearts, then we can change the way we think. Change the way you think and you will change what comes out of your mouth. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks That is the full circle of change. It’s a fluid circle that makes up all of who we are. All the stops are important in the circle and must be utilized.

What Do You Think

What are you thinking? We are in control of our thoughts. Think about times where you have been really upset or angry. You didn’t just wake up one day and be mad at the world. It started with one thing that didn’t go your way and then you began to think about that over and over. Before you realize it you’ve spent the entire morning getting angrier and angrier. You want to change that pattern, think on something else. The same is true for our spouses. Moments where I’m upset or irritated with my spouse, I think on things that I love about her. When compared to that, the thing I was upset about doesn’t seem relevant anymore .

If we think of our spouse as a barrier then that’s all we’ll think about them. If we think of them as our biggest asset, then that’s what they’ll be.

What Are You Saying

What we say about our spouse when they are not in our presence says more about us than them. If we want to change what we are saying, then actually change what we say. Don’t engage in the same conversations that degrade and mock our spouse. If the  guys are talking about the things that they’re wives do that upset them, talk about how grateful you are for your wife.

What is in your heart? Is there love for your spouse in your heart? Love always thinks the best. Love is patient and love is kind. True love is from the heart and not just from our minds. Changing what we say and what we think about our spouse will change what is in our hearts. Once it’s in our hearts it’s cemented in us.

 

7 Fall Date Ideas

Fall is Coming

The seasons are about to change. Depending on what part of the country you’re in they may have already started. Here comes Fall!! We won’t speak of the white stuff that comes after…let’s focus on this upcoming season. I wanted to give you some great date ideas that you can begin to think about and plan for this upcoming season.

One the dates that my wife and I went on that I didn’t think I would enjoy to the degree that I did was a dancing lesson. It got me out of my comfort zone a little bit, but it was one of the best times that we’ve had together. Here are seven date ideas that you can do with your spouse:

Date Ideas

  1. Take a cooking class. A new season is a great opportunity to having some bonding time together and nothing bonds people better than food. Have fun, enjoy it and you might even have Thanksgiving special.

 

  1. Have a picnic in the country. The leaves are changing. Pack a meal to go and find some country space or a park bench. The changing leaves provide a great background to a quiet time together.

 

  1. Light that fireplace. Pop some popcorn. Get your favorite beverages, a nice movie and light that fire place. Get close and enjoy the fire.

 

  1. Make home made candied apples. There are so many variations that you can do here. Have fun, try something new.

 

  1. Take a long drive. There’s just something about a long drive that opens the conversation between both of you. Drive through the countryside, see the leaves change. Stop when and where you want to. Just enjoy the drive.

 

  1. Go on a hayride. Tis the season. There may even be a pumpkin patch or corn maze attached. Get a cup of cider and enjoy it all..

 

  1. Go to a Fall Festival. It’s the time of year and there will be plenty to choose from. Enjoy the food, festivities, and various activities.

Just Spend Time Together

No matter what the season, no matter the day, you can continue to date your spouse. Our marriages should be filled with great dates and creating memories. Will every single day be filled with something magical and special? No, that’s not realistic. This isn’t a Disney movie where we all are singing and seemingly don’t have to work, but our marriages can be what we dream them to be. They can be our comfort space. We can look forward to spending time with our spouse. They can truly be our best friend. The way we go from where we are right now to the marriage of our dreams is through dating our spouse.

 

Discussion Question:

What dates are you looking forward to planning this fall?