Types of People
What type of person are you? Are you the one that likes to go all out on birthdays and anniversaries? Or are you the one that likes to do small things over consistently over time. I know that this may seem a like a weird question, but the point that I want to make is that we tend to be more into the first category. A lot of us men tend to only show our wives love on the major days. Her birthday, Valentine’s Day, and our anniversary are the major times each year where we know we’re supposed to get it right. While we think that this is a good thing, in reality it is just scratching the starting point and we should be the second type.
At the beginning of this year my wife and I set a goal that we were going to work even harder at our relationship. It’s not that we were having troubles, we just knew there was room to improve. We recognized that with two small children and very busy schedules, life can be happening all around us and we want to make sure that we’re moving together. Things are good, but we want them to be better. So we decided to commit to make a love deposit each month.
Love grows over time, not in the number of likes or comments on social media Click To TweetLove Deposits
A love deposit is our way of saying that we want to do something for the other person that speaks their love language. If you haven’t I would read The 5 Love Languages, I would highly recommend it. They even have versions for children, singles and so many more.
Having this approach is better than hitting the major days that I talked about earlier. This is what it can do for you.
- Allows for relationship maintenance
Maintenance is always better than repair. You don’t want to reach the breaking point where everything needs to be fixed. Relationship maintenance is better than having an explosive fight. Doing something every month for your spouse makes this possible.
- Helps to make sure you don’t forget the Big Ones
If you’re doing something for your spouse every month, it will help you so you don’t forget the Big Days. If we’re doing something every month for our spouse then we’re training our minds to always think about them in a new way. Not in a nagging, or a irritated way, but in a way that is loving.
- Keeps you connected to your spouse
We’re people and we change over time. Making small deposits every month, lets your spouse know how important they are to you and helps to keep you connected to what is going on with them as a person. There’s no worse feeling than planning something elaborate for your spouse only to have them respond with a lackluster response. Sometimes the things we thought would make a huge deposit, don’t even make a dent because we’re not as connected to our spouse as we thought. It is naive of us to think that our spouse will be the same person as when we first started dating. We shouldn’t treat them the same way either.
This is “love month.” Don’t wait to show your spouse to care. Do something small that will make a deposit to their heart.
Discussion Question:
Has your love language changed over time?
