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How Habits Are Formed

“You can be overwhelmed by every small setback in life, or you can be energized by the possibilities they bring.” Caroline Leaf

This month has been a month of looking at our habits to see the impact that they are having on our lives and where we are heading. We’ve looked at why habits are important and how to change our habits Can Habits Change?, both are important to changing the course of our lives. Now let’s look at how we can form new habits.

I’m not a trained physiologist, and if you want a more scientific take on habits, then the only place I can point you to is Google. I can tell you what I’ve done to help me develop habits and what hasn’t worked.
Let me start with my morning this morning as an example of what hasn’t worked. I have a morning routine that I try to keep every day. It helps me accomplish some of the more important things that I want to do.

This morning, however, what ended up happening was I sat down at my computer and just stared at the screen. I didn’t meditate or read my daily Bible reading plan. What did I do? I watched a couple of superhero shows, ate some cereal and then decided I would try to start my morning routine about an hour or so later than I wanted to. It really just made me feel bad because I didn’t have a good reason for slacking and it just pushed me further back than I wanted to.

So what has worked for me? Let me give you what I have learned and what has helped me to form new habits.

1. Establish the goal

A new habit won’t last if you don’t know what the end goal is. For me, a part of my morning routine is reading my daily Bible plan and also writing 500 words. My end goal for both of these are things that I want to accomplish this year. With my daily Bible reading, the goal I have is to read through the Bible in a year. Writing 500 words every day will help me reach my goal of publishing two books this year and reaching more people with my blog.

2. Don’t dwell on the mistakes

I’ve probably had more days than I would like to admit about messing up my morning routine or missing it all together. However, I don’t beat myself up over it. I try to tackle some of the things throughout the day, but I make sure not to beat myself up over it. If anything I push it aside and try again the next day.

3. Reward Yourself

Too many times in developing a new habit we want to wait until we’ve reach the goal or the end until we reward ourselves. For me, I like to set rewards along the way. Rewards along the way reinforce the habit I’m trying to develop. That’s what it is all about. Solidifying the habit is the goal.

Hopefully these things help you and you don’t beat yourself up if you have a misstep. Tomorrow is another day and another opportunity.

Discussion Question:
What habit are you trying to develop?

Can Habits Change?

Have you ever wondered why you keep doing the same thing over and over. It feels like you’re in this place where it seems as if life has you in this continuous loop. Something good will happen and then something from your past keeps coming back into the picture. Or the time that you decide that you’re going to start a new diet is when a co-worker decides to bring in sweets into work. Then it seems like we have to restart our diet all over again.

So can we change our habits? Are we stuck they way we are? The simple answer is that yes we can change our habits! No, we’re not stuck being the same person forever. We can grow and change, but it’s up to us on how to do it.

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Here are a couple of ways that we can develop the habits we desire and move in a different direction.
Habits are like paved roads in our minds and actions. We do things a certain way because at some point we paved a way in our mind of how it should be accomplished. That paved road became easier and easier the more we traveled it. Developing a new habit isn’t tearing up the old road, but it is laying a road that we need to travel instead of the old road. This is why sometimes we can fall back into old habits and ways of thinking.

1. Identify the Cues

There is usually something that triggers a habit. When it comes to bad habits it can be stress, or an environment that will bring certain feelings and then the habit. Your alarm going off in the morning may be triggering you to hit the snooze button.

2. Disrupt the Cue

Once we are able to identify the Cue, then we can change the triggers. With our example of the snooze button. If we’re hitting the snooze when the alarm goes off, then to disrupt the cue, we would move the alarm clack to the other side of the room. Actually having to get up out of the bed and walk across the floor disrupts the cue.

3. Replace the Cue

Ripping up the old road is a lot harder than paving a new one. Basically it is easier to replace a bad habit than it is to completely stop a bad a habit. The new habit will interfere with the old habit and stop us from going into autopilot.

4. Forgive Yourself

The whole process of starting a new habit takes time. We can be our hardest critics, so forgive yourself when there is a slip up. The entire process of changing a bad habit is not an easy one. Know that there will be hiccups along the way. Just don’t allow the hiccups to stop you.

Discussion Question:

What habits do you want to change?

Happy New Year!!

Happy New Year

Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Are you ready for 2019? Ready or not it’s here. There are times where we can go through life and things are great and everything seems to go our way and then there are times where it can feel like life slaps us around and it takes everything that we have to keep it all together. I want this new year to be the best year for you. I want to share what I have learned that will help you get the best out of your year.

These are tools that don’t just apply to the start of the year, but they can be applied whenever you want. You just have to be willing to do the work. Changing or trying upgrade a part of our life doesn’t have to be reserved for January 1st.

Over the past year, I’ve made some adjustments to my schedule. I’ve gone from working nights in a factory to a more corporate job. I’ve learned to balance work, marriage, ministry and friendships. Okay, well I’m learning to balance those things, anybody that tells you that they’ve mastered it is lying, we’re all learning to balance those things everyday. This past year has been filled with ups and downs and this is what I’ve learned that I believe will help us all have a successful new year.

What’s Important

You need a morning routine. This may seem like a fad ,but trust me it matters. I’ve gone through stretches of both and if you want to feel productive, if you want to get the most out of your day then your morning routine matters. I wrote more about morning routines here that you can read about here.

Set Goals. I’m not here to tell you how many goals you need to set, but you should have goals. When doing your goals break the goals down into what you want to accomplish in each quarter of the year. This may take some time, so don’t rush through the process. Nothing great will come of it if you rush through the planning process. I couldn’t fit everything about goals in this section but I wrote more to help us that you can read here.

Your spiritual is just as important as your physical. Some people like to pray, some people like to meditate. I’m not here to argue about religions. I’m a Christian and I believe in the power of prayer. Your spiritual life is just as important as your physical life. It actually is more important because it impacts your physical life. It does more to keep you balanced than the other way around.

This year can be better than the last year, but it won’t happen by accident. We have to be intentional about our time and our lives.

Discussion Question: What has stopped you in the past from accomplishing your goals? What steps will you take to make this year different?