Tag: Habits

Welcome to 2021

Welcome to the New Year!!

It’s a New Year and if 2020 has taught us anything it’s that we should be grateful for each day that we have. So, how about we start this year with that type of attitude. A GRATEFUL ONE.

It’s very interesting how, when a new year starts, people can have an attitude like everything is going to start over. People can act like all of the problems, issues, conflicts, and tests that made up the previous year disappear when the calendar changes to January 1st.

Continue reading “Welcome to 2021”

Don’t make Resolutions in 2020

This is that time of year. You know,when every professional, influencer, and guru is going to try to sell you on why you need their program to make next year better.  I understand that they all have a product that they believe in and that they want to get into the world. What all these Black Friday sales and End of Year Sales don’t tell you is that their product won’t help you. It won’t make your life different. You are the difference maker in your own life.  It’s a New Year The other day I was talking with my wife and realized something about myself. I have paid good, hard earned money on multiple writing courses. All with the promise of helping me become a better writer. What has actually happened, I have yet to finish any course all the way through. Have these courses done what they promised they would? I can’t truly answer that because I haven’t done the work needed.  This is why we shouldn’t just buy all these products and services. Will they do what they say? Maybe. What it really comes down to is ourself. New Year’s Resolutions are a waste of time. Think of the last time that you made one and it actually made a difference that year.   

  1. Don’t make Resolutions, Make Changes

  Many resolutions don’t stick through February because we make them out to be our wish list. We want to lose weight, we want to make more money, we want to spend more time with friends. All of those are wish list items.  What we should be focusing on are developing better habits and skills that will benefit us. Resolutions are like wishes because we don’t really attach ourselves to those things.   

  1. Habits and Skills are better than Wishes

  Instead of looking to make a New Years Resolution, this year I am going to focus on myself. For example I’ve been working on eating better, getting in better shape and taking care of my physical body better. So instead of making a resolution to lose weight, or to hit a certain number, I’m going to work on developing discipline to work out consistently. I’ll continue to eat better and developing   

  1. The Why is just as important as the What

  Each year we make resolutions only to see them fall by the wayside by February and by April they are a distant memory. We’ve talked about why we should make changes and not resolutions, and why habits and skills are better than wishes. What lies behind all of those are the why.  Why are looking to make these changes is just as important as what we are looking to change. Your why is your greatest driving factor. It is what will keep you going when things are tough, and when you want to give up on changing for the better.   

Discussion Question:

What motivates the changes you want to see in your life?

Love Habits

Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day. Barbara De Angelis

 

This whole month I’ve been writing about habits. It may seem odd, but it all leads us to this very discussion. Everything from how habits are formed and can be changed to establishing why habits are important leads to the goal of having habits that promote love and healthy relationships.

I’ve made mention of this once or twice, but this year I’ve decided to build a habit of doing something special for my wife each month. Something just for her that will communicate my love and appreciation for her. For the month of March, I decided to do five days of handwritten letters.

What’s important here is that I’m working on developing the habit of love. A habit that always has my wife on my mind and is thinking of ways that I can communicate my love for her. That’s what we want, or should desire, to keep our spouse on our minds and in our hearts at all times. Here are a couple of ways that we can develop the habit of love.

  1. Show respect to your partner

You would think that this is a given, but you’d be surprised at how many people do not show their partner respect. Showing respect to your partner is a habit that is worth creating, as it’s a necessary ingredient for creating a happy, healthy and long-lasting connection. When you express respect towards your partner, you are expressing your love, acceptance, and warmth. Respecting your partner is all about valuing them for who they are, including differences. You may have a different outlook on life but this does not mean that you should disrespect your partner and put them down.

Quality time is never wasted time Click To Tweet

  1. Turn the TV off at night and spend time with your spouse

How can you possibly connect with your spouse when the television is always on? There is no connection building when both of you are constantly staring at the television screen in the evenings. Make the decision to turn off the TV in the evenings, and spend quality time together. Occasionally, you can snuggle and watch a movie, but avoid watching television most evenings so that you can develop a  habit that creates connection and love. Snuggle up on the couch and talk with your partner; talk to each other and discuss how you can develop your relationship. You should always have something to talk about, whether it’s planning for the next vacation or your next date night. Focus on developing your relationship, and talk about issues that need to be addressed.

  1. Stay Connected Throughout the Day

We have such busy schedules that connecting with your spouse throughout the day can be the last priority, but if you want to have a happy, long-lasting relationship, reconnecting with your partner throughout the day is crucial. It can be as simple as sending a loving text during your lunch break or giving them a call on the way home. This habit is meant to keep the connection and focus with your partner. Even if you have a hectic schedule, you can still make the time to send a text message or give your spouse a phone call. Be creative. Think of ways that you can reconnect with your spouse throughout the day.

 

Discussion Question:

What are the habits that you are developing or have developed that keep you connected to your spouse?