“The attitude you have as a parent is what your kids will learn from more than what you tell them. They don’t remember what you try to teach them. They remember what you are.” -Jim Henson
Growth and development should be a part of the human experience. It should be a part of how we go through life. The stages that we go through should push us to continue to become better people. However, I’m not sure what the stage of growth is, where the things that are yours no longer become yours.
It’s summertime. The weather is nice and my family likes to go to an ice cream shop that is near our home. Everyone can get their ice cream and we can sit down to eat. It’s a nice day and we’re talking and laughing. It’s a nice time. After about 5 minutes my son and daughter will look at me and an inevitable question comes “Daddy, what did you get?” It’s at this point that my ice cream is no longer mine. It belongs to my children. Mostly for the fact that I don’t like to drink after children.
As I was thinking about this example and how as a father, my children want certain things from me. Just like the above example, there are two ways that I can react to my children.
1st Reaction
The first way to react is to be annoyed. I can be irate that I don’t get to have anything of my own. Constantly having to share, can cause me to think that they are doing things on purpose.
2nd Reaction
The second way to respond is to be grateful. Children wanting what you have is them learning from you. They are learning what they like, by being able to make their own choices, but they are also wanting to be like you. Children want to know what you like and why you like it. They are trying to learn from you.
Having the first response is selfish. While we want our children to have their own ideas and thoughts, they will also follow after us and want to learn from us. So what do our children need?
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Time
Our children want our time. They need us to be present. Be there in the moment. They call our names over and over because they want us to be a part of what they are doing. Too many men have settled for physically being present but not being present in the moment. Our children don’t just want us in the home, they want us involved in their lives.
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Fun
Moms and Dads play differently. Dads tend to be a bit more physical and vigorous. Children need both playtimes with mom and dad. It’s a complete development.
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Education
Your children will learn from you. How much you believe and are active in your children’s school education can have a great impact on them. Their success can be tied to how active you are in praising, cheering, and helping them with their education.
So is anything really yours? No, I don’t believe so and I think that’s how it should be. We should look for how we can pass things on to our children. It’s more than sharing ice cream, it’s sharing, teaching, and loving life together.
Discussion Question:
How are you pouring into your children?
