Tag: love

Love Changes

Love changes over time. Accept the fact. We can’t run from it or hide from it. It’s going to change. Are we prepared for the changes is another matter. Can we go with the changes and make sure that we don’t lose the love. That really should be how we view it love. It’s okay if it changes, but we can’t lose it or let it become dormant.

I’ve been married to my wife for almost 9 years now, and even in that time our love has changed. While we were dating, newlyweds and the beginning of our marriage everything was great. We would spend every chance we got talking on the phone or taking walks around town. It might have been typical for two people who were falling in love with each other and building a relationship. For us, it was special and began to lay the foundation for us.

Now, we’re at the point where we have been married for a little bit of time. We have two young children and we’re setting the foundations for our family. Has our love changed from those early days? Absolutely, and it should change as we change throughout our lifetime. As our marriage grows and changes, our love should change with it.

Love should change as you grow as a person Click To Tweet

Love changes over time. Well, it should. It should grow as you grow as a person and it should grow as your relationship grows. There is beauty in the growth and changes that can happen in love. How do you embrace the changes in love?

 

  1. Expect the changes to come

 

Some of the hardest changes in life are when they are unexpected. An unexpected loss of a job, or the unexpected change in a friendship, or an unexpected change in our health are all very hard things to adjust to in life. In terms of love and the love in our marriages, we should expect it to grow. Don’t expect that it will stay the same as when you were dating. Your love should change as you do.

 

  1. Communicate through the changes

 

A lot of couples fail and a lot of marriages fail because of the lack of communication. The longer that you are with someone means that there is a greater need for quality communication. Quality communication is different than just talking to someone. Quality means involving yourself into the conversation. The longer that you are with someone, you have to have more quality conversations because you tend to know more of the details about them. Growing as a person shows us that quality conversations are needed to keep the connections strong.

 

  1. Date Nights are essential

 

There nothing that will lead to the love in your marriage becoming stale or non-existent more than not spending time together. Regular date nights are the cure to that. Date nights will help you communicate and have quality conversations. While each date may not be the over the top, birds singing, stuff of movies, but each date can be an opportunity to strengthen your marriage.

 

Discussion Question

How has your love changed?

 

Love Language

Love is something you do for someone else, not something you do for yourself. – Gary Chapman

 

I’m a huge fan of The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Gaining just a little understanding about these love languages can help you connect with your spouse on a deeper level. A lot of people have at least heard about The 5 Love Languages. But there are some things that people get wrong about The 5 Love Languages.

    My wife and I went to a couples event recently. At this event all of the couples took a quiz based off of The 5 Love Languages. After the quiz and some games, we were encouraged to look at our results to see if they were the same as when we took the quiz when we first got married. Each couples results surprised them. It lead to great conversations, and also possible misconceptions about The 5 Love Languages.

 

  1. Your Love Language can change

 

It shouldn’t be expected that you will stay the same as when you first took the test. Yet, sometimes we think that our spouse’s love language will stay the same as when first met them. The longer that you are married, you will encounter many changes. You have to be able to adapt to the changes.

 

  1. Your Love Language is the Foundation basis

 

    Understanding your spouse’s love language is a starting point. The pitfall is that once we know our spouse’s love language we can go all in on that. So, if our spouse’s love language is gifts, then we for every birthday, holiday, every date that we go on, any time that we think about it we’ll give them a gift. While that may be great the first year or so, after five, ten, twenty years together, we should be able to expand beyond giving them gifts.

    Think of knowing your spouse’s love language as the foundation to a house. This is the foundation to the love that you share in your marriage. Like a normal house, the foundation has to be strong. You also build rooms upon the foundation. You should be able to build on the foundation of a love language.

 

  1. Your Love Language is selfless

   

    Knowing your  own personal love language should be a part of knowing yourself. Many times marriage issues result from one person projecting something onto the other person. In knowing yourself, you should know what triggers you to make you angry, and know how you receive love. With that being said, knowing your love language is key for your spouse. Don’t have them guessing and trying different things. Know yourself, that way you can share that with your spouse.

 

Discussion Question:

How has your love language changed over time?

Leave you answer in the comments

 

Tools for Love

This is the month for love. Why do we regulate love to just one month? Successful couples have learned to show their love throughout the whole year. They have tools for love that help them throughout the whole year. Valentine’s Day is a great time to show your love to your spouse. We should all take advantage of it. To truly take advantage of Valentine’s Day, it should catapult you, show that you can show your love to your spouse all year. It sounds easier than putting something in place.

Tools to help throughout the year.

  1. Calendar/reminders

If you have trouble remembering important dates. Your calendar should be your best friend. Every important birthday, anniversary, and holiday should be in your phone. To help you get ahead of the game, set reminders for those dates. Most calendars you can set a reminder a couple of days to a week or two ahead of time.

  1. Evernote

If you haven’t come across the Evernote app. I’m not sure where you’ve been. Most people use it for note taking and organization. I found a unique way of helping me remember things that my wife has expressed interest in, or things that she says in conversation.

I created a file with her name on it. So if we’re out at the mall and she wants to stop by a store and try something on, I will take a picture of her in what she has. I save it to my folder then if we don’t buy it,  then I will have a future gift I know she will love. No need to rack my brain for gifts. I have a folder full of pictures of things that she has tried on.

Don't limit your love to just a holiday. Show love all year long. Click To Tweet

The same goes for conversations. There will times throughout the year where she will mention something like a new hobby or skill that she wants to learn. Maybe a book that she wants to read. All of these things go into folder and can be ideas for gifts at a later date.

  1. Canva

Sometimes you come across a nice quote or a beautiful saying and you want to send it to your spouse. Instead of just sending a normal text message, get creative and jump in Canva.com. You can let your creative juices flow and you can create everything from a poster to a social media post and everything in between. If you’re not the creative type, don’t worry Canva has plenty of templates that you can use and just copy and paste your message.

 

These are a couple of things that you can do to turn the month of February into a year long expression of your love.

 

Discussion Question:

What apps or tools do you like that help you express your love?

Leave a comment below with your answer.