If we understood the power of our thoughts, we would guard them more closely. If we understood the awesome power of our words, we would prefer silence to almost anything – Anonymous
We’ve all heard the references when someone is getting married. “The ol’ ball and chain or your old man/lady not letting you out to play with your friends.” It’s not that these types of comments that are so bad. They have become a part of our culture. What bothers me, are the responses that we so many times play along with these jokes.
In my own marriage I don’t ever refer my spouse as the “ol’ ball and chain.” That just seems to lessen what my wife means to me. I know, you may be thinking that I’m taking things too seriously and that these are just jokes. They don’t mean any harm. I’m sure they’re not intended with any malice or anything like that. For me however, I just value my wife that much.
You Tell More than You Know
How do we see our spouses? If you ever want to know what a person thinks about their marriage or their spouse, just listen. Most people talk more than they think they do. I’m a firm believer that if you listen long enough you can tell how a person really feels by what comes out of their mouth. What they say is key.
What you say about your spouse when they aren't around is just as important as when they are around Click To TweetSo, what are we saying about our spouses? If what we say with our mouth is a tell tale of what is in our heart, then what is in our hearts about our spouses?
What’s In Your Heart
Change what’s in your heart and you will change the way you think. We can change what’s in our hearts, then we can change the way we think. Change the way you think and you will change what comes out of your mouth. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks That is the full circle of change. It’s a fluid circle that makes up all of who we are. All the stops are important in the circle and must be utilized.
What Do You Think
What are you thinking? We are in control of our thoughts. Think about times where you have been really upset or angry. You didn’t just wake up one day and be mad at the world. It started with one thing that didn’t go your way and then you began to think about that over and over. Before you realize it you’ve spent the entire morning getting angrier and angrier. You want to change that pattern, think on something else. The same is true for our spouses. Moments where I’m upset or irritated with my spouse, I think on things that I love about her. When compared to that, the thing I was upset about doesn’t seem relevant anymore .
If we think of our spouse as a barrier then that’s all we’ll think about them. If we think of them as our biggest asset, then that’s what they’ll be.
What Are You Saying
What we say about our spouse when they are not in our presence says more about us than them. If we want to change what we are saying, then actually change what we say. Don’t engage in the same conversations that degrade and mock our spouse. If the guys are talking about the things that they’re wives do that upset them, talk about how grateful you are for your wife.
What is in your heart? Is there love for your spouse in your heart? Love always thinks the best. Love is patient and love is kind. True love is from the heart and not just from our minds. Changing what we say and what we think about our spouse will change what is in our hearts. Once it’s in our hearts it’s cemented in us.
