Tag: relationships

Growth is Intentional

Are you able to tell when you are being driven by your emotions? The stereotype is that men aren’t emotional and that everything with them is at the surface level. 

That is a lie. Men can be just as emotional as women. What most have failed to realize is that it will manifest differently. Pushing down your emotions is not gender specific. Neither is wearing them on your sleeve. Do you know yourself well enough to know how your emotions impact you? 

As I learn about myself and with the help of my wife I’m beginning to see how my emotions impact me. Early on in our marriage, I didn’t talk much.  I would wait until everything seemed like it was too much for me to keep on the inside and then I would want to vent. 

For me, I handled my emotions like this because I never grew up knowing how to handle and process my emotions. 

Now I am able to process and talk about my emotions a little faster. I may not express them  in the moment,but I’m growing in effectively communicating in a healthy time frame. 

Commit to Growth

We should all have a process of growth. Growing is going from where we are now to a version of us that  masters every part of our lives. We have to grow mentally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally. Emotional growth is learning about how our emotions affect us. 

Becoming a better man doesn’t just happen when you reach a certain age. Your development as a person has to be intentional. 

If we were talking about money, we don’t wake up one day and become a millionaire, no we grow in our financial literacy and how to handle money. 

Read, Read, Read

The most successful people in any area are active readers. It doesn’t matter if it’s finances, marriages, or productivity, you have to become a reader. There are so many tools at your disposal to help with this. If you don’t like paper books, you can get ebooks. Maybe the thought of buying a book makes you nervous, then most libraries have an app where you can borrow the paper book or e-book or an audio book. The point is that you have to continue to educate yourself. Growth is intentional. 

Discussion Question:

What is one area that you want to grow in?

Consider that Quality Time in your marriage is more important than the Quantity of Time

We all would like to be able to get more time for the things that matter. What I’ve learned is that we all have the same 24 hours in a day. How to spend them is up to us. So everything can’t be about the quantity of time. We don’t have the ability to get more hours into our day. The difference is the quality of the time we do have. 

Your Most Valuable Asset


What is your most valuable thing that you have? Is it  money or the resources that you have at your disposal? Most of us know that time is the most valuable asset we have. How does this play into our relationships with our spouse?

I’m learning more and more that I have to be intentional with my time. I’ve had those moments where I sat down to do some work or read and ended up watching videos on YouTube or Netflix for  2 hours! 

I’ve also done this same thing when I wanted to spend time with my wife. The funny or ironic part is that my primary love language is Quality Time.  I’ve had moments when I wanted to spend time with my wife and we end up being in the same room together but not really connected. 

With my passion to  become a successful writer, balancing  my time can be challenging. I have a tendency to allow my time to be consumed by other things.

We all have the same 24hrs. How we spend them shows what we value Click To Tweet

Can We Get More Time?


We all would like to be able to get more time for the things that matter. What I’ve learned is that we all have the same 24 hours in a day. How to spend them is up to us. So everything can’t be about the quantity of time. We don’t have the ability to get more hours into our day. The difference is the quality of the time we do have. 

For a person like me whose love language is Quality Time, I can’t add more hours into my 24 hour day to spend with my wife. What I can do is make sure that we’re getting the most out of the time that we spend together. So it truly is Quality over Quantity. Especially when it comes to our spouses. We can think that that more time together will fix everything. How do we make sure we’re getting the most out of time together?

 

  1. Get Rid of Distractions

 

You don’t realize how much of your time is being wasted until you actually start to track your time. We waste time doing the things that we know we’re not supposed to do. Checking emails is one area where we can waste time. We check emails at work, we check them at home and pretty much everywhere in between. The key to quality time is to get rid of the distractions. 

 

  1. Be present

 

This goes right along with getting rid of the distractions. There are a lot of moments in my life where I’m in the room but not present. This can be true for a lot of men and that may be a stereotype. It doesn’t matter if it’s true or a stereotype, we have to do better at being in the moment. 

Our spouses need us to be present, as well as our children. Each relationship that we value needs us to be present. 

 

Doing just these two things will get us started with improving the quality of the time we have. 

Discussion Question:

In what areas can you make quality time more of a priority?

Happy Post Labor Day

I hope that you had a fun and safe Labor Day holiday. Most people spend their holidays with family and friends. Mine was no different. In fact I was able to travel to Nebraska and be there for my sisters wedding. Throughout the weekend I was able to sit back, observe and enjoy my family. I just wanted to offer up some observations to you all.

  1. Your place in your family

 

This one I’ve known about for awhile now, but I was able to see it in full effect this past weekend. Whether you’re the drunk uncle at every family gathering, the dancing child, the silent one or the religious prayer warrior, we all have a part in our families. It might not be defined role with a title and it may change as we grow older and new generations come behind us, but each person is needed and makes the family unique. 

 

  1. Love and Laugh

 

What makes families so great is that you’re able to love each other through all of the ups and downs of life. It’s that love that makes the family unit stronger. Will there be arguments and disagreements? Absolutely. Those things that you argue about today will be the things that you’re able to laugh about a year from now. Laughter has been medically proved to be beneficial for your health. Laugh together with your family!! 

 

  1. Everything isn’t meant for Social Media

 

This past weekend was yet another reminder that we don’t need our phones to enjoy life. Life is happening all around us. We can get caught up in posting about the things that we’re doing rather than enjoying the events. Every once and awhile it’s good to not post anything, put your phone down and just enjoy the moments. 

 

  1. A group of dancing kids makes everything better

 

This one is just fun. At my sister’s reception, there wasn’t a better moment that when the DJ plays the kids favorite songs and they start dancing. You can’t help but to smile and cheer them on. Every adult that seems to have forgotten to just have fun and not care about what other think it back to being a child again. From the latest dances to the ones that are just pure energy and movement. It’s always a good time. 

 

These were just a couple of things that I thought about this past weekend. I pray that you’re holiday was great and that the rest of your year is filled with Love and Laughter. 

 

Discussion Question:

What did you observe from your family this past weekend?