The only difference between a hero and the villain is that the villain chooses to use that power in a way that is selfish and hurts other people. – Chadwick Boseman
Does being selfish in a relationship make us the villain? Not necessarily, but it’s a thin line that we can easily cross. It’s hard to not be selfish in a relationship. We have to learn to be selfless and selfish, otherwise our friendships, relationships or marriages won’t make it.
I was recently texting with a friend who I hadn’t been in contact with in a long time. Since it had been a while since we last talked I was asking him to bring up to speed on his family, job and other things. Sometimes it’s nice to hear from people you haven’t head from in awhile. What the conversation turned in was just about him. There wasn’t any reciprocal. That is selfish. A one sided conversation. As a thought about our past conversations and times hanging out I realized that a lot of our friendship was one sided.
How can we go from being selfish to selfless:
- Think about your spouse’s favorite things and work on being a more thoughtful giver. A lot of times we as men don’t always think ahead. While we may know that birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays are coming getting the actual gift seems to slip by us. That won’t happen if we spend consistent time thinking on their favorite things.
- Challenge yourself to try new things that benefit others.
Whether it’s friendships or your marriage, we have to be willing to step out of our comfort zones for that person. It might be scary and uncomfortable, but it’ll be a unique and memorable experience that you have together.
- Give God all of your selfishness, be real and open about what you want to change and God will do it.
- Create a Good Habit. To make sure that it’s not a selfish habit. Look to establish something that helps you focus on others
- Pray for your spouse. There’s nothing that will take your mind off of yourself like praying for someone else. A heartfelt prayer, will put into perspective on how selfish we’ve been and how much we need to consider the other person. Bringing God into the conversation, always brings clarity.
How do you know when you’re being selfish? What do you do to correct get out of being selfish?