thanksgiving Archives - Page 2 of 2

Thanksgiving vs Black Friday

I pray that you had a great Thanksgiving. Hopefully we made more memories than grievances. Thanksgiving has changed so much that Black Friday almost is its own holiday. Hopefully you enjoyed it to the fullest. It is funny to me how we can be thankful one day and then stampede over other people to go shopping and catch a deal the very next day.

As I write this post, I’m sitting at the dining room table at my mother’s house. I can proudly say that we did not do any Black Friday shopping this year. It was a really good day, we were able to eat leftovers, go to the movies and relax the whole day.

Value People

Spending the day in another person’s company is a lost art. Having this time together with my family showed me that it should not be just about the deals and monetary things.

The above quote is something that I came across and I thought it was a good reminder for the season that we are in. With Black Friday following Thanksgiving, we can quickly forget what we are thankful for and it shouldn’t be that way.

What Others See

This quote just shows us one way on how to raise children with values. This quote could apply to every relationship that we have. If we want to be have good friendships, then spend twice as much time with those people and half as much money. It makes sense if we think about it. Those things that are valuable to us require time and not just money.

Money can’t fix everything. The things that we value in life need our time. They need our attention. We can’t simply say that we want to have good relationships, a successful marriage, raise good children, all of those things require our time.

There are people that watch everything that we do. Not just our children, but our neighbors, extended family, and everything that we post on social media are all eyes watching us. What we put out there matters. There are so many people that are watching us.

We can be double minded and not realize it. We will say things like we value family and spending time with those that we love on Thanksgiving then not even 24 hours later we are running people over for a new tv, while our kids our watching us??? Why do everything we can and end up being the meanest person on Black Friday for a deal on a new tv.

Discussion Question: How do you model your values?

Sharing the Holidays

It’s that time of year again. Thanksgiving and Christmas are right around the corner! For many, this is the best time of year. It’s the holiday season. I pray that this year has been a great one for you. The holidays are great when you are single, you can do like I used to. Make the rounds around town and visit all your friends and family, leaving with take out plates at every stop. How do you handle that if you’re married? You share the holidays, here is how you can do it successfully.

When my wife and I first got married, we had to sit down and have this very conversation. How are we going to do Thanksgiving and Christmas? For us, our families were not local either. The majority of my wifes family was in Detroit and the majority of my family was in Chicago. There are more dynamics that developed over time, but we still had to figure out what we were going to do. For us, we decided that we would have Thanksgiving with her family and Christmas with mine. It works for us and this is the first year that we’re going switch it around in six or seven years.

So how do you decide or even have this conversation of how to split the holidays?

Split the Holidays

You want to be on the same page with your spouse. Map out what you can reasonably do. Most couples split the holidays, but you need find the split that works for your family. You and your spouse want to be on the same page going into this season. Don’t wait until the day before Thanksgiving to decide where you’re going to eat. Will you do an even split of Thanksgiving and Christmas? Or will you spend part of the day at one house and then move to another in the afternoon? Do what works for you. Unvoiced expectations can lead to hurt feelings.

Be realistic. While you may want to see every relative and family member, depending on travel, location and costs that may not be possible. It’s important to keep the line of communication open with your spouse’s family as well.You don’t want to have your parents expecting to see the you and the grandkids for Thanksgiving and this is the year that you’re not coming until Christmas. Just like you want to be on the same page with your spouse, you want the important family members to be on the same page.

Hosts the Holidays. Finding it hard to decide on what to do or where to go, then host the holidays and let family come to you. It may seem like a lot of work to host the family party but the trade off is that you don’t have to travel and you get to sleep in your own bed at night. This is something that my wife and I did. For us it made sense with infants in the house and with family spread out in so many locations, our home was a central location for everyone.

Discussion Question

How do you and your spouse share the holidays?

“Family is not an important thing. It’s everything.” – Michael J. Fox

Is Thanksgiving Lost?

A Conversation

The other day I was checking out at a local store. The woman behind says “I think there is all ready Christmas music and decorations out.” My reply was “I know, I can’t believe it.” She just let out a little sigh and we both proceeded to check out and make our way to our vehicles. In that moment I realized how much we pass over Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving used to be a month long event. An entire month where it was more about having a day off and feeding our faces. It was an entire month that was about being thankful. Thanksgiving was a month of being reflective. Looking at our lives and being thankful for the people and things that we have.

My earlier conversation showed me how much this spirit has been lost. A month of being thankful has been regulated to a week. Thanksgiving has become a bridge from Halloween to Christmas. It’s more about the food we get to eat, than about actually being thankful for something/anything. How did this happen?

Is it about the money?

A lot of it has to do with the market ability of Halloween and Christmas. Companies can make a lot of money during those times. Thanksgiving isn’t as marketable. Spending money on ourselves doesn’t promote that spirit of thankfulness.

Being Thankful Everyday

Let us get back to having a spirit of thankfulness. When we do something for someone don’t reply “No problem,” say “You’re welcome.” Subtle changes like this reveal how much of our conversations can be about us. To where we will say “No problem” because it makes us feel better and it reinforces the impression that we did the other person a favor. It moves the focus of the conversation to us. Saying “You’re welcome” moves the conversation to the other person. It removes us and focuses on them.

This season let us truly be thankful. Look and analyze our lives to see the many blessings that we have. There are so many things that we can be thankful for. Don’t allow Thanksgiving to just be the bridge between Halloween and Christmas. We should be thankful all year. We could all use the spreading of more love. True love can only be shared when there is a spirit of thankfulness involved.