Tag: leadership

Protecting What’s Important

Who rules your house? Who is the protector of your marriage? As a man, we assume that we are supposed to fulfill these roles. We’re supposed to be the “strong man” in our homes. We feel like we need to be everything for our families. We have this idea of being a “strong man” and what we’re supposed to do. 

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 But no one can go into a strong man’s house and ransack his household goods right and left and seize them as plunder unless he first binds the strong man; then indeed he may [thoroughly] plunder his house. [Mark 3:27]

 

So are we the strong man or are we the man ransacking the house? How can we protect those people and things that are most important to us? Here are some ways that we can protect what’s important. 

 

  • Realize that you can’t do it

 

This has to be the realization that you have from the beginning. How many of us realized how dependent we are on our jobs when we got furloughed because of corona-virus? The housing crisis of 2008 showed us how fragile our lives were. The comfort we got used to, was a deception. 

We need help. The previous two examples showed us that we are not in control of everything. Depending on the things that surround us has not helped us. Dependence on our employers to provide for many people has left them feeling abandoned. 

You can't do everything, and that's okay. Click To Tweet

As men, we have to realize that we can’t do everything, and nothing in our lives can be supported by us. That’s why we need God. He is the foundation and will support the weight of our lives. 

 

  • What Has Value

When we can’t protect anything and everything, we look around and judge what’s valuable. Is the TV more valuable than your wife or kids? How about a good marriage? Does that have some value to you? It’s been said that if you want to know what you value, just look at where you spend your time.

When you know what you value, then that will help you in knowing what to protect. When you value your marriage, you will protect it at all costs. Valuing your peace means that you will protect it. 

  • How to Protect

 

So how do we protect those things that we value? Is it by locking those things in a safe? No, we protect the things that we value by offering them to God. It is through giving them to Him that we can have peace. It’s the only way to truly protect the things we value. 

 

Discussion Question:

How are you protecting what you care about?

Don’t make Resolutions in 2020

This is that time of year. You know,when every professional, influencer, and guru is going to try to sell you on why you need their program to make next year better. 

I understand that they all have a product that they believe in and that they want to get into the world. What all these Black Friday sales and End of Year Sales don’t tell you is that their product won’t help you. It won’t make your life different. You are the difference maker in your own life. 

It’s a New Year

The other day I was talking with my wife and realized something about myself. I have paid good, hard earned money on multiple writing courses. All with the promise of helping me become a better writer. What has actually happened, I have yet to finish any course all the way through. Have these courses done what they promised they would? I can’t truly answer that because I haven’t done the work needed. 

This is why we shouldn’t just buy all these products and services. Will they do what they say? Maybe. What it really comes down to is ourself. New Year’s Resolutions are a waste of time. Think of the last time that you made one and it actually made a difference that year. 

 

  1. Don’t make Resolutions, Make Changes

 

Many resolutions don’t stick through February because we make them out to be our wish list. We want to lose weight, we want to make more money, we want to spend more time with friends. All of those are wish list items. 

What we should be focusing on are developing better habits and skills that will benefit us. Resolutions are like wishes because we don’t really attach ourselves to those things. 

 

  1. Habits and Skills are better than Wishes

 

Instead of looking to make a New Years Resolution, this year I am going to focus on myself. For example I’ve been working on eating better, getting in better shape and taking care of my physical body better. So instead of making a resolution to lose weight, or to hit a certain number, I’m going to work on developing discipline to work out consistently. I’ll continue to eat better and developing 

 

  1. The Why is just as important as the What

 

Each year we make resolutions only to see them fall by the wayside by February and by April they are a distant memory. We’ve talked about why we should make changes and not resolutions, and why habits and skills are better than wishes. What lies behind all of those are the why. 

Why are looking to make these changes is just as important as what we are looking to change. Your why is your greatest driving factor. It is what will keep you going when things are tough, and when you want to give up on changing for the better. 

 

Discussion Question:

What motivates the changes you want to see in your life?

The Example You Set

“Do what I say and not as I do.” Most of us have heard that either when we were or a child or we have said that to our child(ren). The problem with this statement is that children will remember what you say but they will model what you do. 

It's not Do as I say. It's Do as You see Me Do. Click To Tweet

What we teach our children is important. Children watch everything that we do and they see everything. They see us when we argue, they see when we hug, show affection and they notice when we spend too much time on our phones. 

Father and son

On My Phone Too Much

About a year or so ago, I was spending a lot of time on my phone. I wasn’t really doing anything of importance, just scrolling through social media and checking emails. It got to the point that I was on my phone when I should have been having time with my family. My wife noticed and told me that I need to be present and in the moment. Then a little later my 3yr old would say things like “Daddy put your phone down and watch me.” Both of those instances helped to drive it home, this is the example I’m setting.

How do we know the type of example that we’re setting for our children?

 

  1. Listen to what they Say

 

If you ever want to learn what your kids are learning the easiest thing to do is to listen to them. When it comes to our children we can think we know what’s best and how everything should go. But when it comes to the effect that you’re having, the children won’t be able to voice that. You as a parent have to listen to them. You have to find a way to listen to them when they think that you’re not listening. 

One of my favorite things to do is to listen to my children when they are playing in their room. Right now they are relatively young and I learn a lot from hearing them when they are playing with their toys. Another thing I like to do is to listen to them when they are in the back seat of the car. As they talk to each other, I learn to see if the example I’m setting is taking root in them. 

 

  1. Watch what they do. 

 

As children grow they start to emulate what they see their parents do. A lot of times people will act surprised when their child use a curse word or says something inappropriate. It shouldn’t surprise them because they learn what they say from what they hear you say. 

A child’s behavior is a direct correlation to what they see their parents do. Their actions come from what they see their parents do. If you question the example you’re setting, you can look at your children’s behavior. Change our behavior and we can change theirs too. 

 

Discussion Question:

What did your children notice that you didn’t think they did?