Tag: relationships

Marriage Beliefs

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. Mignon McLaughlin

Marriage Beliefs

Where do our beliefs about marriage stem from? Most people haven’t thought about this. We might entertain the idea of getting married one day. Or we once we are married we think about what we want our marriage to be. The above quote shows what that person believes about marriage and where their marriage beliefs come from. If you want to know the core of what they believe about marriage just change the topics of conversation and listen to them talk.

Marriage Works

What We See

I remember I was on Youtube and a young artist,was being interviewed. The host did just what I described above. They steered the conversation towards marriage and asked this young man what he thought about marriage. His response is what caught my attention. He said that he didn’t believe in the idea of marriage. Not a huge shocker to hear that from someone today. Then he said he didn’t believe in it because he never saw a successful one. He said that there isn’t anyone around him that has stayed married and then if they are they’re not happy. He’s never seen one work. WOW! What a state to live in.

From listening to this young man talk you understand his beliefs about marriage. He doesn’t like it or care for it. His reason, the core of where this comes from for him; he’s never seen a successful one or one where people were happy.

Our beliefs about marriage come from that same place. What we think and believe about marriage come from   ideas that were formed when we’re children. So if our parents, aunts and uncles, friends parents argue, talk bad about their spouse or abuse their spouse, we will think that is what marriage is. Our beliefs are in part formed by what we see modeled in front of us.

I wanted to model something different than what my parents had. They were happy but the end was bad and they got divorced. I want and am building something that will last. I want to make sure that my children have a marriage modeled in front of them that is one of a happy, fulfilled and fun marriage.

What are we modeling and what are we seeing?

 

7 Fall Date Ideas

Fall is Coming

The seasons are about to change. Depending on what part of the country you’re in they may have already started. Here comes Fall!! We won’t speak of the white stuff that comes after…let’s focus on this upcoming season. I wanted to give you some great date ideas that you can begin to think about and plan for this upcoming season.

One the dates that my wife and I went on that I didn’t think I would enjoy to the degree that I did was a dancing lesson. It got me out of my comfort zone a little bit, but it was one of the best times that we’ve had together. Here are seven date ideas that you can do with your spouse:

Date Ideas

  1. Take a cooking class. A new season is a great opportunity to having some bonding time together and nothing bonds people better than food. Have fun, enjoy it and you might even have Thanksgiving special.

 

  1. Have a picnic in the country. The leaves are changing. Pack a meal to go and find some country space or a park bench. The changing leaves provide a great background to a quiet time together.

 

  1. Light that fireplace. Pop some popcorn. Get your favorite beverages, a nice movie and light that fire place. Get close and enjoy the fire.

 

  1. Make home made candied apples. There are so many variations that you can do here. Have fun, try something new.

 

  1. Take a long drive. There’s just something about a long drive that opens the conversation between both of you. Drive through the countryside, see the leaves change. Stop when and where you want to. Just enjoy the drive.

 

  1. Go on a hayride. Tis the season. There may even be a pumpkin patch or corn maze attached. Get a cup of cider and enjoy it all..

 

  1. Go to a Fall Festival. It’s the time of year and there will be plenty to choose from. Enjoy the food, festivities, and various activities.

Just Spend Time Together

No matter what the season, no matter the day, you can continue to date your spouse. Our marriages should be filled with great dates and creating memories. Will every single day be filled with something magical and special? No, that’s not realistic. This isn’t a Disney movie where we all are singing and seemingly don’t have to work, but our marriages can be what we dream them to be. They can be our comfort space. We can look forward to spending time with our spouse. They can truly be our best friend. The way we go from where we are right now to the marriage of our dreams is through dating our spouse.

 

Discussion Question:

What dates are you looking forward to planning this fall?

 

Sow Good Seeds

Galatians 6:7 ESV Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.

 

There are opportunities all around us to sow seeds. Sowing seeds can be compared to doing good deeds, actions and thoughts and expecting a return of good to come into our lives. When it comes back into that is our harvest. If our life, our jobs and even our marriages aren’t what we want them to be then we can sow seeds. More importantly we need to sow seeds that are different than what we’ve done in the past. If we think that things are good and going well. Farmers don’t stop planting seeds because they had a good harvest season. No, they plant again for the next season.

What are you planting?

 

My Experience

I used to have this friend when I was in middle school. Our school used to have a little like cafe or concession stand type of thing that would open up before and after school. My friend would always ask for money or ask for me to buy them something to eat. After awhile I started to question what type of friendship this really was. If they only time we would really hang out is when I was going to the concession stand and you wanted something, then I don’t think that qualifies as a friendship. Obviously this friend didn’t last through the school year.

You may have someone like this in your life right now. Maybe not at a middle school level, but there might be someone in your life who always wants to dump their problems on you. Or they always need to vent to you. It could be the person who seems to always steer the conversation towards themselves. These types of relationships don’t last because seeds are not being planted in order to make it a long lasting relationship.

Plant Good Seeds

How do plant good seeds? It is true that you reap what you sow? I believe that it is true. So what are we planting?

 

  1. We should be in a state where we are checking to see what we are planting. Think of every relationship as a field. What you plant in the ground will come up at harvest time. This is especially true in your marriage. Men, if we’re planting bitterness or anger seeds into our spouse, that attitude she has or the coldness that comes from her is a result of the seeds we plant.
  2. Change your thinking and you can change your life. If you have trouble seeing your spouse in a certain way, maybe they’re not the tidiest person or sometimes they forget to follow through about things you’ve discussed with them. If you can change they way that you think about them, you’ll be able to engage in conversation with them without being upset. See them through the lens of what you are thankful for or what you enjoy about them and it makes it easier to plant positive seeds rather than negative seeds.

 

Discussion Question:

How do you plant seeds into your spouse/relationships around you?