I hope that you enjoyed your 4 of July everyone!! Independence Day is a great day and is celebrated all across the country. Since it is Independence Day, it begs the question of do you need independence from your spouse? Better stated do you need time away from your spouse?
I struggle with this question and even today there are times where I’m on one side and then go to the other side of the issue. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t enjoy those few and far between times when I happen to get the house to myself. My wife would probably say the same thing.
On the other side, I really enjoy spending time with my wife. All of the best times in my life she was there. She’s the one person that I just really enjoy spending time with. Doesn’t matter if we’re out or just relaxing at home, I like when she’s around.
There are statistics and opinions on both sides of question. I don’t know if I have an answer for it. What I can say is that you can be in your marriage , love your spouse, want to spend time with them and not lose yourself. I like the way that the Bible puts it and it’s my example that I can do both.
1 Corinthians 12:12 (KJV)
12 For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ.
So how do we maintain our personal identity and the identity we have as a couple. Here are a couple of thoughts:
1. Independence is for your and your spouse.
We don’t want to lose ourselves, but for our marriages to be all that they can be then we need to be able to give of ourselves fully.
2. Have hobbies that you do by yourself and that you do with your spouse.
There should be activities that you can enjoy together. Also have the ones that you enjoy by yourself. As you develop your interests you also develop your interest together.
3. Be honest and communicate.
The biggest killer to your relationship can be a lack of communication. Expectations that are not vocalized become hurt feelings and resentment. If we can tell our spouse when we need a little time to ourself or when we just want to clear the schedule and have some time together, our expectation will lead to hurt feelings.
How do you spend time together and time apart?
