Built to Last
When we get married or even begin to have the idea that we want to get married, we don’t think about getting divorced. This is not one of those ventures where we are supposed to think of it ending before we begin. We want to have a happy ending.
We want a marriage that will stand the test of time. When you think about your marriage, how do you see it? Can you see yourself still married to the same person 20, 30, 40 years from now? Are you happy or just two elderly roommates waiting for someone to come visit you?
From My Heart
My wife and I have been married for 7 years(at the time of this writing). While that may not seem like a long time to everyone, it’s a big deal for me. My parents marriage didn’t make it the long haul. They’re happy now, married to different people, but happy nonetheless. Going through their divorce showed me and reaffirmed in me that I wanted to make sure I was as sure as I could be when I wanted to get married. I wanted to do all that I could to make sure that my marriage would last throughout the years. Here are 3 ways to build a marriage that last.
1. Self Development.
Your marriage will grow as you continue to grow. Where we are now is not the final version of ourselves. Like a new iPhone that comes out each year with minor improvements, our growth will be the same. The version of you 5 years from now maybe “you version 8.0”, but those small improvements add up a big jump from where you are today. So don’t stress over the small improvements, or think that things aren’t changing fast enough. They are. It will be okay. As you grow, your marriage will grow.
2. Create couples rituals.
Do something regularly that bonds you, such as 10 minutes to chat before bed, always having morning coffee together, or saving Saturday for date night.
3. Have a daily check-in.
Marriage experts recommend couples do something that big business has employed for decades to keep workers happy, productive, and in the loop: hold regular team meetings. It’s a good thing that yours will be more fun than listening to Bob from accounting go over the last month’s sales numbers. The idea is to keep communication flowing freely with an agenda.
- Start by appreciating something about each other.
- Offer up some new information from your day.
- Ask your spouse about something that has bothered or puzzled you (or something about yourself).
You don’t have to do all of these things, but if you try one improvement for the next 30 days, you’ll find yourself in a better marriage than you had a month ago.
What do you do to strengthen your marriage?
