Category: Fatherhood

This category has everything to do with being a father. It is for dads, fathers, uncles, brothers. Basically any man. We are all a father figure to someone.

Family Roles

You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.–Desmond Tutu Click To Tweet

Each family member is important and each member has a role to play. The roles are important and valuable. A lot of the time we don’t think about what each person brings to the family unit as a whole. 

My parents got divorced when I was a young man and I remember the impact that it had on my family. It affects each person and there is a hole that is left in the family dynamic. It can be a lot to take in and process.

There is a picture online that I really like that pictures the dynamics of a family and the roles that everyone has. I want to break down the picture and talk about the roles of each. 

Biblical View of the Family

  1. Family: Christ 

This is the first umbrella. He covers the entire family. Everything centers on His Word. God’s love covers us and as it covers us individually it covers our family unit. His Word guides our steps and it protects us. 

  1. Family: The Husband

The husband is under Christ, because the husband should be looking to God for his family. In the picture you see that the husband’s role is to protect the family, lead the family and provide for the family. These are all great, but there is a way to do them that is true and genuine. 

Protecting the family is a physical, emotional, and spiritual responsibility. Abuse can happen in many forms and the husband’s role is to be be out front protecting the family. 

Leading the family is a great responsibility. Leading is never a “do as I say” thing. True leadership is servant leadership. Learning how to help your family achieve their dreams and goals. 

Providing for the family is something that we can automatically assume is a financial responsibility. 

  1. Family: The Wife

Following The Husband is The Wife. The wife’s role is to comfort, teach, and nurture. I think that the picture leaves a little to be desired about the role of the wife. While a wife does provide comfort, teach and nurture there is more that she does. 

Many of the things that the husband does for the entire family the wife does for the children. She does protect them, she also leads them and provides for them. 

There is a lot of fluidity between the husband and wife roleshusband and wife roles. You don’t have to look far to see how they can cover for each other. Every single parent household has a parent that is providing both roles for the family. 

  1. Family: The Children

The child’s role in the family is defined in the picture is to love the parents and obey the parents. While that is true, children should also be able to dream. Children should also challenge their parents, not in a disrespectful way, but in a way that should push the parents to be better. 

 

Discussion Question: 

What are your thoughts about the picture of the family?

 

The Example You Set

“Do what I say and not as I do.” Most of us have heard that either when we were or a child or we have said that to our child(ren). The problem with this statement is that children will remember what you say but they will model what you do. 

It's not Do as I say. It's Do as You see Me Do. Click To Tweet

What we teach our children is important. Children watch everything that we do and they see everything. They see us when we argue, they see when we hug, show affection and they notice when we spend too much time on our phones. 

Father and son

On My Phone Too Much

About a year or so ago, I was spending a lot of time on my phone. I wasn’t really doing anything of importance, just scrolling through social media and checking emails. It got to the point that I was on my phone when I should have been having time with my family. My wife noticed and told me that I need to be present and in the moment. Then a little later my 3yr old would say things like “Daddy put your phone down and watch me.” Both of those instances helped to drive it home, this is the example I’m setting.

How do we know the type of example that we’re setting for our children?

 

  1. Listen to what they Say

 

If you ever want to learn what your kids are learning the easiest thing to do is to listen to them. When it comes to our children we can think we know what’s best and how everything should go. But when it comes to the effect that you’re having, the children won’t be able to voice that. You as a parent have to listen to them. You have to find a way to listen to them when they think that you’re not listening. 

One of my favorite things to do is to listen to my children when they are playing in their room. Right now they are relatively young and I learn a lot from hearing them when they are playing with their toys. Another thing I like to do is to listen to them when they are in the back seat of the car. As they talk to each other, I learn to see if the example I’m setting is taking root in them. 

 

  1. Watch what they do. 

 

As children grow they start to emulate what they see their parents do. A lot of times people will act surprised when their child use a curse word or says something inappropriate. It shouldn’t surprise them because they learn what they say from what they hear you say. 

A child’s behavior is a direct correlation to what they see their parents do. Their actions come from what they see their parents do. If you question the example you’re setting, you can look at your children’s behavior. Change our behavior and we can change theirs too. 

 

Discussion Question:

What did your children notice that you didn’t think they did?

 

Teaching Your Children to Dream

Can you remember any of the dreams that you used to have when you were a child? If I really try to rack my brain and think about it, it is very hard for me to remember anything that I used to dream about. Probably like most boys they were dreams related to sports. They didn’t go far though because I was never the best athlete or anything. 

“Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.”—Harriet Tubman Click To Tweet

Dream in the Future

I don’t know many children that dream of being doctors or lawyers, but I’m sure that they are out there. With my children, I want to do everything I can to encourage them to dream. I want to make sure that I’m teaching my children to dream. And to always dream. 

Here is how I’m teaching my children to dream and I hope that you can/will/are doing the same for yours. 

 

  1. Vision Boards

We have a family vision board. If you’re not sure what a vision board is, it is gathering images to represent your dreams. For example, if there is a dream car that you have always wanted, you would get an image of that car and put it in a place where you can see it every day. There is something powerful that happens when your mind can see what you want. Vision boards can help you dream and can teach your children to dream. 

  1. Experiences over Gifts

As parents, it can be easy to rely on getting our children gifts for birthdays, holidays and such. Part of teaching your children to dream should be the experiences that they have. Being able to have new experiences and try new things is all a part of developing their imagination. 

Gifts can be great and we shouldn’t deprive our children of them, however, we shouldn’t deprive them of experiences that will help them to grow, develop, think and dream bigger. 

  1. Share Your Dreams 

Be the example that you want your children and family to follow after. Have a vision board for yourself and have times where you share with them your dreams. 

People say that experience is the best teacher, but when it comes to teaching your children, your example is the best teacher. Your children having the opportunity to see your dream, go after those dreams and achieving those dreams will teach them more than anything that they will learn in a classroom. 

Discussion Question:

What are your dreams? Have you shared them with your family?