Category: Relationships

It Can Be Difficult

Having difficult conversations can be challenging, especially when we’ve never had them before. We can tend to avoid situations that challenge our growth in certain areas. The parts of our lives that are hard are that way because we have developed a habit of avoidance.

The protest that have been happening around the world are showing us that we need to have difficult conversations concerning race.

As I reflect on why we’ve avoided these difficult conversations, I realized that I’ve avoided difficult conversations in my life. Trying to sidestep those conversations has caused me to become stagnant in my life. While this realization may have started because of racism, I’ve seen how I avoided difficult things throughout my life.

Continue reading “It Can Be Difficult”

Leading Through A Pandemic

The past week or so has been a trying time for our nation. In case you’re wondering what I am referring to, you can take a look at my previous post here. The stories are constantly on rotation on all news networks, all over social media. While trying to process all of this information how are you going to lead your family through the back part of this pandemic?

Who is following you?

Does anyone really have the answers during this time? I can tell you no, there isn’t a concrete set of answers that we can all use. There isn’t a set of rules that will help us lead our children, spouses, and loved ones through this. All we can offer is our best advice and hope that it helps. 

That’s what I want to do here. Offer some ideas and thoughts that I pray will help or get you thinking about how we can prepare our families for coming out of this pandemic. 

 

  • Communicate

 

Communication is the strength of any relationship. Within your family, each person needs to be able to communicate their expectations and feelings during this time. From this point, you can decide what would be best for the family as a unit. 

 

  • Have a Plan

 

This second half of the year is going to be one of reintegration. The best way to prepare for the upcoming season is to plan for it. Did you miss your family vacation? Were birthdays put on hold? Now would be a great time to develop a plan on how you can do those things again. 

 

  • Know Yourself

 

Throughout this pandemic time, mental health has been emphasized more and more. Rightly so, because this time has been stressful with the health concerns, the employment fluctuations, and the closings of schools. How are you feeling during this time? Are you ready for the reintegration to begin? Use this time to sort through our own feelings and try to prepare for the next phase. 

 

  • Prayer 

 

It is through prayer that we can gain access to God. You have to be able to know what is right for you and your family. Despite what the local and state governments are saying about the reintegration, it is through prayer that you will know what is right for you. What we really want is God’s knowledge and wisdom in this situation. 

 

Discussion Question:

What are you looking forward to after this time of quarantine?

Fear No More

2 Timothy 1:7 KJV

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

No fear

Don’t Live a Life of Fear

I thought about not writing about this topic, then I wasn’t sure if I wanted to write about it or what I would say. So I’ll go with where I am at the moment. 

Fear is a powerful force. Left unchecked it can drive your life and influence every decision that you make in life. I don’t want to live a life of fear. 

The cases of Ahmad Arbery and George Floyd have really hit home lately. These are such tragic situations that really could take place in any city in America. Add on top of that is the case of Amy Cooper calling the police on an African American man who simply asked her to leash her dog. A rule that is visible throughout the area of Central Park.

I don’t want to go into details about each of the cases but you can research them and find out for yourself. I’m not running from sharing the details, or anything like that, but reading the details and seeing how these men were treated is just hard for me. We are not that different. It could have been me; it could be you or someone you know. 

With all that being said, I can’t let the fear of what “could happen” drive my life. That’s not a way for a person to live their life. So what are we supposed to do?

  • Chose to Love and Not Fear

Choosing to love and not fear doesn’t mean that I will be silent about things that happen. We still have to speak out against horrible acts like this. What it does mean is that I will not hold on to fear in my heart. I will choose to hold on to love. I want my heart to be full of love and not fear. Hopefully, that will come out in my actions to educate others around me, white and black. May that love comes out in the words that I speak and the actions that I have towards others. 

 

  • Don’t become Dull

It seems like there are more and more stories of African Americans being mistreated coming out. Honestly, it’s hard to not become dull to the stories. The more you see, read and hear about a tragedy, the easier it is to get accustomed to it. We live in a 24hr news cycle with Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter we can be inundated with heartbreaking stories. 

We have to find a way to empathize with people that are suffering and also not become dull to “another story.” The balance of that is very hard.  Over and over we read these stories and have to purpose in our hearts not carry the weight of the world with each incident. 

 

  • It’s Okay to Take a Break

As I mentioned above, reading each tragic story can be a lot. It’s a lot for me. On top of that, everything that our country is going through with COVID-19, as an African American father, husband, son, and brother it can be a lot to take in. 

There has been a strong push for mental health. I’m in favor of it. We need to be able to talk, pray, and sometimes detach ourselves at least for a moment so that we can get the clarity and strength we need for ourselves, families, and society. Don’t be afraid or scared to say when you need a break.

Is There an Answer?

None of these steps are solutions to the problems that are going on, but just my thoughts as I process. I’ve been meditating on the scripture that I started with. It’s helped me and I hope that this helps you.