Having difficult conversations can be challenging, especially when we’ve never had them before. We can tend to avoid situations that challenge our growth in certain areas. The parts of our lives that are hard are that way because we have developed a habit of avoidance.
The protest that have been happening around the world are showing us that we need to have difficult conversations concerning race.
As I reflect on why we’ve avoided these difficult conversations, I realized that I’ve avoided difficult conversations in my life. Trying to sidestep those conversations has caused me to become stagnant in my life. While this realization may have started because of racism, I’ve seen how I avoided difficult things throughout my life.
Recently, I have taken some classes on real estate and real estate investing. I had to come to terms with my ignorance in real estate and how it can impact my life. I remember only hearing the bad stories of people being landlords. There was never a consideration that there could be a better way or even a different way.
Overcoming my own struggles and having difficult conversations is not an overnight miracle, but a process. Let’s walk through this process together
Start with the why?
Why have we left areas of our lives unattended? Why have we avoided them? A lot of times it comes from a place of fear. Part of having to confront these areas in our lives is that we must admit that we’ve been running from them. Once we can admit this, then the process begins of trying to understand why we were running.
Know the end
We have to visualize the finish line. What does the end look like? If it’s a difficult conversation, the end doesn’t have to be that I agree with the stance of the other person, but maybe that I can emphasize and at least see their side. If it’s an area of our life that we’ve avoided, then the end could be to not be afraid to encounter this again.
Ask for help
Why are we so inclined to try and do things by ourselves? When it comes to questions of race, we can to default to the saying “I’m not racist,” so therefore we never actually have the conversations about an experience is like for other people. Without those conversations, then we don’t know the implicit biases we may have or how we can help those around us.
If we struggle with our attitudes towards money or marriage, then if we want to be able to manage our money or know what it takes to make a marriage work, then we would need to ask for help. The help can come from the Bible, a trusted family member or friend, a counselor, pastor, the point is that we have to recognize when we need help.
Having difficult conversations or overcoming difficult areas in our lives isn’t easy. It’s going to take time. You may have to go through the situation repeatedly or have the conversations repeatedly because there may not be an immediate change. It’s all about changing our hearts, and that takes time.
