Don’t make Resolutions in 2020

This is that time of year. You know,when every professional, influencer, and guru is going to try to sell you on why you need their program to make next year better. 

I understand that they all have a product that they believe in and that they want to get into the world. What all these Black Friday sales and End of Year Sales don’t tell you is that their product won’t help you. It won’t make your life different. You are the difference maker in your own life. 

It’s a New Year

The other day I was talking with my wife and realized something about myself. I have paid good, hard earned money on multiple writing courses. All with the promise of helping me become a better writer. What has actually happened, I have yet to finish any course all the way through. Have these courses done what they promised they would? I can’t truly answer that because I haven’t done the work needed. 

This is why we shouldn’t just buy all these products and services. Will they do what they say? Maybe. What it really comes down to is ourself. New Year’s Resolutions are a waste of time. Think of the last time that you made one and it actually made a difference that year. 

 

  1. Don’t make Resolutions, Make Changes

 

Many resolutions don’t stick through February because we make them out to be our wish list. We want to lose weight, we want to make more money, we want to spend more time with friends. All of those are wish list items. 

What we should be focusing on are developing better habits and skills that will benefit us. Resolutions are like wishes because we don’t really attach ourselves to those things. 

 

  1. Habits and Skills are better than Wishes

 

Instead of looking to make a New Years Resolution, this year I am going to focus on myself. For example I’ve been working on eating better, getting in better shape and taking care of my physical body better. So instead of making a resolution to lose weight, or to hit a certain number, I’m going to work on developing discipline to work out consistently. I’ll continue to eat better and developing 

 

  1. The Why is just as important as the What

 

Each year we make resolutions only to see them fall by the wayside by February and by April they are a distant memory. We’ve talked about why we should make changes and not resolutions, and why habits and skills are better than wishes. What lies behind all of those are the why. 

Why are looking to make these changes is just as important as what we are looking to change. Your why is your greatest driving factor. It is what will keep you going when things are tough, and when you want to give up on changing for the better. 

 

Discussion Question:

What motivates the changes you want to see in your life?

Planning Your 2020

Quote: if you fail to plan, you plan to fail 

 

“And the Lord answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it.”

‭‭Habakkuk‬ ‭2:2‬ ‭KJV‬‬

 

It’s the end of the year. The last month of 2019. How has this past year been for you? Has it been a year of great accomplishments? A year where you focused on yourself and grew as a person? Did your marriage make a turn for the better? Or maybe this year has just been another year like all the rest. It could be that this year was just another year. Nothing really changed or happened. Everything cruised along like all of the previous years.

 

A New Year is coming, are you ready

 

For me, this year has been one of experiences. There have been some great highs. Like starting this journey of homeschooling our children. It’s been such a treat to watch them grow and develop. This has been a year of my wife and I growing closer together. Being intentional about our marriage and working on it. 

This year has been a good year. But I’m also getting ready to prepare for next year. [We can enjoy the remainder of 2019 while envisioning a success plan for 2020] maybe this in place of the previous sentence 

 

  1. Reflect on the past year

 

To make sure that we’re not repeating the same things over and over each year we have to look at the previous year to see what worked. More importantly we have to look to see what didn’t work. 

We want to keep the things that work and then look to change what doesn’t work. Why keep doing something if it’s not driving you towards your destination?

 

  1. Dream of what you want next

 

How can you get to your destination if you don’t know where you’re going? Do you ever get in the car and drive with no destination in mind or no idea of where you want to go? No. We always at least have a destination in mind. 

Our dreams help us to see the destination of where we want to go. While there is time still left in this year, dream of what you want next year to be. Don’t put a cap on your dreams, let them run wild. The possibility for success is limitless when you can first see it 

 

  1. Goals and Habits Fuel the Dream

 

How will you go from where you are to the dream that you want? Our goals and habits are the fuel to get us there. Setting goals is a way to break down the dream in smaller steps that we can then begin to tackle. 

Through our habits we can then accomplish those goals, which fulfills the dream. All of these tie together. That’s why we have to know what works and what doesn’t work. 

 

The next year can be what we make of it. 

 

Discussion Question: What do you want your next year to look like?

Opening Your Home

Love only grows by sharing. You can only have more for yourself by giving it away to others. – Brian Tracy

It’s That Time of Year

It’s that time of year. The time where we get together with our friends and families. There are food, games and holiday movies to be enjoyed by all. While you’re enjoying this upcoming holiday season, I want you to think about the people that may not be as fortunate as you. 

Over the last couple of years, my wife and I have invited people from our church to spend the various holidays with us. To at least come and share a meal with us.

Sometimes it would be friends, but most times it would be someone  new might not have had family in town to spend the holiday with.  

Whether it was a barbecue for the 4th of July, a potluck style meal for Memorial Day or Thanksgiving. The heart behind it was to be able to spend time with people that we care about. 

The last couple of posts that I’ve written have to do with being thankful, and being thankful in our marriages. What we can’t forget is about extending that thankful spirit and inviting people into our circle. 

You may be a fortunate person who has loved ones, friends and people around you that you can enjoy the holidays with. Choose during this holiday season to be the change or be a positive influence on someone around you. This is the perfect time of year  to begin. This is where we can start. 

1. Look At Those That Are Close to Us

An easy place to start is to look at the people and relationships that are close to you. My wife and I started with people in our church, or people in our small groups. Those that as we got to know them, we realized that they might not have aplace to go. 

2. Be Wise and Pray

What I’m not saying is that you invite complete strangers into your home. What I am telling you is to pray and use wisdom. Build relationships with people. That’s part of what makes the various holidays fun. Getting to know people that you may not get to spend a lot time with otherwise. 

Pray about the people that you should have an impact on. You could be the influence that is needed in their life. 

3. Be Comfortable

Being comfortable in your own space is great. You don’t want to lose that. You have to be able to be yourself. You don’t want to bring people into your life,  if you are going to feel like to have to put on an act for them. 

Doing that doesn’t help them and only drains you. What really impacts people is when you are able to be yourself and be comfortable in your own skin. 

Discussion Question:

Have you ever invited someone into your home, or been invited into someone’s home during the holidays? What was the experience like?