What has your relationship taught you? Has your marriage taught you anything new? Are you still studying your spouse or do you try to cram at the last minute when it’s their birthday or your anniversary?
There are times where I find myself always learning a lesson. I’m not saying it in a bad way either. I think that we should be life long learners. More times than not this is just something we say and not something we apply to our lives.
Our relationships are living and breathing. Click To TweetOur relationships are living and breathing and we should be learning from them. Here are five lessons that we should be learning.
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Facts don’t matter as much as feelings. In a relationship, there are two roads of communicating. The road of facts, and the road of feelings. The stereotype is that men are more factual and that may be, but men are also more emotional than we like to think. Either way, when it comes to communication with our spouse, we have to know which road it appropriate. We can’t be so concerned with the facts that we lose the feeling.
- Withdrawal leads to death. No, I’m not talking about physically dying, but the death of the relationship. There are moments in a relationship where our emotions and feelings can run so high that we make decisions that are not good. When we’re not happy or something doesn’t go our way, one of those decisions that we can make is that we can withdraw from the relationship.
Withdrawal from a relationship will lead to being emotional unavailability. It will cripple the relationship. The affection you have, the shared humor, and joy will also leave. It will kill the intimacy and sexual passion.
The lesson here is that we need personal growth. Our growth helps us to deal with our anger or hurt feelings in a way where we do not withdrawal from the relationship. We have to learn to communicate our feelings rather than just act out.
- Physical Touch is key. Affection brings us closer together and causes us to stay close. Both you and your partner feel connected to each other when you touch. Not just sexual touch, while that is important. Touching in a non-sexual nature helps improve romance and deepens the romance that you already have. Love thrives the micro-moments of connection and sometimes the best way to create a connection is to reach out and touch your loved one.
- Complaining to family and friends doesn’t help. It is easy when you are frustrated with your spouse to turn to family and friends. They will automatically take your side and help you feel validated in your frustration. This actually doesn’t help your relationship. It gives power to these people that should be just reserved just for you and your spouse.
- Love is a verb, not just a feeling. If you want your relationship to work, then you have to be intentional in making it work. If you want the love to stay in and through your relationship you have to be willing to say express to your spouse “I’m going to make you a priority in my life. I will pursue and find new ways to make you as happy as I can.” All of this has to do with the attitude in which you approach your relationship.
Discussion Question: What lessons have you learned from your current or previous relationships?
